# I finally got to hold my gecko.



## supersnuffy (May 31, 2009)

Not in the way I wanted to, though.
I always thought that when I finally was able to hold Astrid, I'd be happy. I've worked so hard to get her trust and now...I don't even know what happened. She took a turn for the worse on the 30th September and I didn't want her to suffer any more. 
I never thought I'd get so attached to a lizard, you know? They're beautiful and interesting creatures but when you can't even hold the little things it's hard to notice how much you love them.

I'll never stop feeling guilty, little Astrid. You creeped me out sometimes when you just stood at the front of your viv and stared at me but it never stopped me from loving you unconditionally, even when you bit my hand that one time you thought it was a waxworm. 
I've never felt so terrified in the one moment that I held you in my hand. When did you get like that, when did you become just skin and bones? I swear that your tail was fat just the other day. Not as fat as I'd have liked, but we were working on that...now I can't have a lizard again until I move out but I don't know if I can handle it again. You were only 4 years old and I feel like I ruined you, ruined your life...I'm so, so sorry, Astrid. I really did love you.


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## Barnacle (Sep 16, 2010)

You sound as if you really loved him, don't feel guilty. I'm sure you did your best


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## MrLizardBoi97 (Aug 29, 2010)

it's not your fault 
everything has to go up some time young or old doesn't matter


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## Long way down (Jul 29, 2009)

Sorry for your loss, get your self another lizard but somthing different, you will not look back, but allso you will not forget the gecko, which you loved


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## mandi1234 (Mar 13, 2009)

ahhh so sorry hun. i think weve all lost a rep or 2 on here. doesnt make it any easier though does it. as above, im sure you did your best


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## xvickyx (Jul 21, 2009)

Thats so sad :sad: RIP little one


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## GeckoKay (Aug 17, 2010)

I'm so sorry to hear that, thats so sad


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