# RFUKs' Worst Pet



## Evie (Jan 28, 2008)

I was just thinking that we all like to post about our wonderful pets. 
Anyhow I thought it would be interesting to hear about the really crap ones. This post is inspired by our cat:

Profile:
*Name*: kaito AKA Captain Dreadful
*Type*: Black Oriental
*Hobbies*: Biting, scratching, hissing, spitting and clawing, theiving, intimidating anything with a pulse.
*Hates*: Everyone, articles on tables, shelves, fireplaces - they should be on the floor.
*Likes*: wallpaper, curtains, wires, spoons, pens, paper bags, books..... anything breakable, stealable, shredable or bleedable.
*Ambitions*: To murder everyone using the death of a thousand puncture wounds method.
*Endearing features: *Not Applicable










Anyone got a worse pet that isn't going to be showing up in the classified section anytime soon :lol2:


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## Declan123 (Dec 29, 2007)

LOL, sounds a rate laugh...!

Ive had a fair few broken bones from bites etc.... But i wouldnt class them as pets..


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## vetdebbie (Jan 4, 2008)

Dunno what you mean! Sounds sweet and fluffy to me!:lol2:


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## vetdebbie (Jan 4, 2008)

Apparently my husband's mother had a white cat who was ok unless you you crept up on him. If did this, he bit you then freaked out running round the house ripping things to shreds. Not too bad you may think - only happens when you creep up on him. Trouble is being white, he was also deaf!


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## Zoo-Man (Apr 12, 2008)

Aw, poor Kaito! hehe Good pic of him by the way Helen! x


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## Brat (Oct 7, 2007)

Kaito doesn't seem to have a pupil in one eye, looks well freaky.. may be the angle of the pic though!

I once had a dog that my Mum had put to sleep. I cried for days and redecorated my whole room with gravestones and hate messages to my Mum. I refused to go to school for weeks afterwards as punishment to her.. He was called Bruno and was a bit of a mongrel, we never really knew what he was.. He was small, brown and wirey haired. He looked liked the sweetest thing, would roll over for you to stroke him, then get bored and completely flip! I still bare the scars, he bit me quite badly on my side and hands which was the last straw for my Mum


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## Shey (Mar 24, 2008)

Evie said:


> I was just thinking that we all like to post about our wonderful pets.
> Anyhow I thought it would be interesting to hear about the really crap ones. This post is inspired by our cat:
> 
> Profile:
> ...


 And yet he looks so innocent :flrt:


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## asm1006 (May 5, 2007)

Well we had a siamese when we lived in Lndon in the 70's. We have had loads of siamese and Sindy was the only horrid one.

List of crimes-

Racism, its true! She'd spit and go for anyone who was not white.
Stole Christmas turkey.
Hated motorbikes, would spit and howl at them if they dared drive past:lol2:
Dogs. She got out one day and dad found her ripping the crap out of a german shepherds back. :blush:
Vets. The big head said he didn't need dad to help with the injections. He emerged (vet) with dressings up his arms and a guilty looking Cindy wih a tail like a loo brush!


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## asm1006 (May 5, 2007)

vetdebbie said:


> Apparently my husband's mother had a white cat who was ok unless you you crept up on him. If did this, he bit you then freaked out running round the house ripping things to shreds. Not too bad you may think - only happens when you creep up on him. Trouble is being white, he was also deaf!


 Oh dear should't laugh but it was amusing to imagine creeping round a deaf cat!:lol2:


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## Evie (Jan 28, 2008)

Brat said:


> Kaito doesn't seem to have a pupil in one eye, looks well freaky.. may be the angle of the pic though!


Oh did I forget to mention he's bog eyed aswell!
Loving these tales of bad ass pets - got my morning off to a start with a smile. :2thumb:


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## sleepylizard (Feb 20, 2008)

I have an evil evil Bunny:

Profile:
*Name*: Candy, aka: Bitch Whore Bunny
*Type*: Red eyed White dwarf lop
*Hobbies*: Grunting and charging at me, Refusing to clean own botton, Scratching and chewing my antiques,Chewing student's books that need marking, Slicing open my male rabbits tummy (involving expensive vet bills and a poorly male bun), Scattering white hair everywhere around my house despite regular grooming (i go to work looking like a furry snowman most days).
*Hates*: ME (she is ok with others but has a Vendetta against me), Archie (her partner), Indoors, Outside, Being on a diet, Having her bottom washed (she is too lazy to do it herself), having to wait more than 2 seconds for breakfast.
*Ambitions*: To appear in the re-make of Monty Python's Holy Grail, she is indeed worse than that Killer Rabbit.
*Endearing features:* Give me some time to think of something.

I will try to post a pic later today that doesn't show her red eyes gleaming wit evil!


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## Athravan (Dec 28, 2006)

My cats have one sole aim in life - to trip me up at every opportunity. They weave in and out of my legs walking around, going down the stairs... they lie in wait in the dark hallway when I get up to go to the bathroom, they sit outside waiting for me so when I stumble out I trip over them again.. I have no idea how I haven't broken my neck yet.


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## Spider Call (Mar 23, 2007)

D: Always has to be the pretty ones that are mean 

Saying that... My Meezers were pretty XD And you could literally do anything to the male of the three.....




Athravan said:


> My cats have one sole aim in life - to trip me up at every opportunity. They weave in and out of my legs walking around, going down the stairs... they lie in wait in the dark hallway when I get up to go to the bathroom, they sit outside waiting for me so when I stumble out I trip over them again.. I have no idea how I haven't broken my neck yet.


You keep foiling their plans it seems 
I am sure they will keep trying.



I swear all cats secretly have a plot to kill us <_<


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## 400runner (May 15, 2006)

This thread made me laugh, and when your on an early shift, that is a rare thing!


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## Kami22 (Apr 21, 2008)

*Name*: Smudge
*Type*: Blue Budgie
*Hobbies*: Skwaking when good things are on the tv, flying into the bin and scattering rubbish, harrassing dad who is terrified of birds, biting the middle part of noses and making them bleed, slicing hands so that owner has to wear two (yes two!) pairs of gloves to remove from cage, biting eyes and ears, latching on to any naked body part and not letting go
*Hates*: everything!
*Ambitions*: Cause death to all humans
*Endearing features:* N/A

Though this tale has a sad ending... one day the bottom of the cage fell out when dad was hoovering... you can guess the rest (and yes it was a dyson)


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## BlueRoses (Jun 21, 2007)

Oh I love this thread ! :lol2:

I have a cat called Bobbit ( he only has a 4 inch tail ..... remember that case in the US of the lady called Bobbit? remember what she did to her hubby???? )
Well anyway, Bobbit shall be hereafter referred to as Bob.........

Profile:
*Name*: See above
*Type*: Tabby moggy
*Hobbies*: Eating, more eating, catching wild birds :-( disappearing for days on end leading to me searching high and low the hedgerows, ditches, outhouses of the surrounding neighbouhood etc etc, then re-appearing as though nothing had happened and again.... eating,scratching up the carpets, getting under your feet at every given opportunity, seeing you coming down the front path with bags of heavy shopping and suddenly just flopping on to the floor, rolling on his back, right in front of the foot you have in the air and making you have to take immediate evasive action so as not to tread on him Grrrrrrrrrrrrr
*Extreme favourite Hobby*: Jumping on mine, or anyones else's lap purring loudly, rubbing his head against you, lifting his chin for a nice tickle and scratch, purrrrrrrr purrrrrrrr stroke stroke purrrrrrrrrr, awwww nice pussy...... *CHOMP! Sinks teeth in, draws blood, wraps all feet around your hand and kicks the living daylights out of your now trapped hand with his back legs.... claws out naturally*
*Hates*: Table scraps... always wants the real thing, the vacuum cleaner, that big, fat, long-haired ginger and white cat that comes in our garden ( see large clumps of ginger and white fur strewn about the garden )
*Ambitions*: To break my neck
*Endearing features:* Erm


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## gwinni (Oct 8, 2007)

*Name*: Murphy
*Type*: 15.1 cob gelding 
*Hobbies*: Plotting different ways to misbehave, Biting, kicking, standing on people, looking innocent so people who are paying customers come to pat him lulls them into false sense of security then bites, lying down like a dog in the middle of track whilst out on a trek, taking out electric supply to local cottages, attacking/threatening other horses, jumping fences, breaking things eg fences, headcollars, bridles, toes and fingers, doing the opposite of what was asked eg you want to go left he wants to go right and seems to enjoy getting a smack with a riding crop.
*Hates*: People especially lassie that works at stables (has broke her toes and couple of her fingers), pretty much everything apart from food.
*Ambitions*: To take over the world.
*Endearing features: *He likes me.

Also had an evil rabbit which i nicknamed evil bitch bunny. And i swear if i shaved jack i'd find 666 tattooed on him. But murphy is the worst offender.


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