# Why can’t people just think first….



## BecciBoo (Aug 31, 2007)

I’ve been pretty gob smacked at some threads and post recently and I personally think that its totally out of order that some people on this forum can’t just think before the open their mouths (type on there keyboards!). And then everyone jumps on the bandwagon.

People make mistakes, all the time….nobody is perfect and nobody is always right! People are getting pushed out of a hobby that they clearly love and have a passion for. And that’s what all this is about after all, a hobby…that we love and enjoy. 

There are people on this forum that are full of knowledge and I am personally learning from all the time…people that keep there animals in tip top condition, people who, I for certain, inspire to be like. And yet one or two comments from people who seem to only jump in when there is an argument going on or they can slag someone off, can put these people’s lives and reputation into the limelight. 

This forum is meant to be about advice and helping others….not dragging people down.

I see that this can now happen to anyone, and anyone could be next. You work hard making a name for yourself, getting a good reputation and what for?

I spend a lot of time on this forum, and the more I have read recently the more I want to keep my hobby to myself. Sod sharing my knowledge, or any expertise I may have. Because why should I put myself on the line for people that will just as easily stab me in the back (from behind there computer screens of course). You post a picture of your animal in a highly thought out vivarium that you have researched and you can guarantee that at least one person will pick faults with it. You have a different opinion to some people and you’re made out to be the worst keeper in the hobby. You ask for advice on improving a naturalist viv set up and someone turns round and says ‘just tub em up and give em kitchen roll and a water bowl…your doing it all wrong and you’ll kill your snake’ Sorry but if I wanted to keep my snakes in unnatural conditions then I wouldn’t be asking for advice on natural set ups!

Everyone does things differently, that’s why the hobby is so diverse. Why can’t people just tolerate over peoples views and opinions? Why can’t people just THINK before making a post?


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## unrealjill (Aug 17, 2007)

I suppose technically this reply counts as bandwagon jumping but...here here!
: victory::lol2:


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## HABU (Mar 21, 2007)

thinking isn't my strongpoint.....


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## Andy (Jul 27, 2005)

I've said it before but I will say it again, if you see posts that you think are abusive/offensive please report them using the report function.


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## Diablo (May 25, 2007)

Andy said:


> I've said it before but I will say it again, if you see posts that you think are abusive/offensive please report them using the report function.


Like Forwarding PMs regarding threats which still continue Damn something got done there didn't it.


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## Andy (Jul 27, 2005)

I havent seen any reported PMs? WHy dont you put the person on ignore like I said last night then you wont recieve any PMs from them. 

PMs are a hard one to moderate as they can be edited before being forwarded to anyone and we only usually see one side of it. I dont think threatening PMs are on personally and would prefer people who have sent threatening PMs to have the PM function removed from their account. Would you agree with that Diablo?


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## BecciBoo (Aug 31, 2007)

Andy said:


> I've said it before but I will say it again, if you see posts that you think are abusive/offensive please report them using the report function.


I see abusive and offensive post all the time and the majority jump on the band wagon and join in....including people who are supposed to be moderating this forum.


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## athy59 (Jan 30, 2008)

I am totally in agreement with you. 
I have been slated many times. More so after a piccy i put on here. 
If the had bothered to ask whatwas what ect. they would have got a full explanation.
As for abuse in Pm`s. If you screen shoot the pms. they cannot be doctered. 
As i put in a post and i frankly i dont care what i type. If you rface fits you are ok. 
Sad really.


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## Andy (Jul 27, 2005)

BecciBoo said:


> I see abusive and offensive post all the time and the majority jump on the band wagon and join in....including people who are supposed to be moderating this forum.



Report the posts then! If you are continually seeing abusive and offensive posts report them and something will be done even if its a moderator making them I would be interested to see which posts you mean.


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## Young_Gun (Jan 6, 2007)

Becci, your never gonna get a natural 'setup' for an animal in captivity :razz:

:lol2::whistling2:


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## paulibabes (Jan 6, 2008)

athy59 said:


> I am totally in agreement with you.
> I have been slated many times. More so after a piccy i put on here.
> If the had bothered to ask whatwas what ect. they would have got a full explanation.
> As for abuse in Pm`s. If you screen shoot the pms. they cannot be doctered.
> ...


they can be if you're good with photoshop:whistling2:... haha


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## Lynne (Jul 19, 2007)

Diablo said:


> Like Forwarding PMs regarding threats which still continue Damn something got done there didn't it.


if we are thinking of the same pm's, she wouldnt forward them when asked. wonder why???


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## zoeu (Apr 8, 2008)

Unfortunately it seems that on ANY forum, there will always be a certain amount of jumping on the bandwagon. Another forum that I go on (not reptile related) has a huge thread running at the moment about the bullying etc that goes on on yet another forum :roll:. It seems to be human nature to follow the pack and try to be part of the in crowd. It's easy for people to sit at their keyboard and type things they would never say face to face. 
This is why I mainly tend to lurk rather than actually post.

Edited for typos


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## Zodiac (Apr 17, 2008)

I think too many people on here try to act 'hardcore' with the keyboard far too often... :x


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## Kami22 (Apr 21, 2008)

It is true that people on here sometimes get abusive and there really is no need... why shouldnt everyone be able to enjoy a hobby which should bring people together? If its your first lizard then yeah your gonna make mistakes but a helping hand is better than yelling at someone...


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## zoeu (Apr 8, 2008)

Kami22 said:


> It is true that people on here sometimes get abusive and there really is no need... why shouldnt everyone be able to enjoy a hobby which should bring people together? If its your first lizard then yeah your gonna make mistakes but a helping hand is better than yelling at someone...


And that's the exact reason I don't post too much. I'm new to reptiles, I've only had my beardie since Friday and although I've been researching for months there are still things that I'd like clarification on. BUT I don't want to ask in case I get jumped on :blush: I'm just one of those people who likes to check, check and check again.


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## Young_Gun (Jan 6, 2007)

Zodiac said:


> I think too many people on here try to act 'hardcore' with the keyboard far too often... :x


Even more won't back it up when you invite them to either :Na_Na_Na_Na:


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## spend_day (Apr 10, 2008)

zoeu said:


> Unfortunately it seems that on ANY forum, there will always be a certain amount of jumping on the bandwagon. Another forum that I go on (not reptile related) has a huge thread running at the moment about the bullying etc that goes on on yet another forum :roll:. It seems to be human nature to follow the pack and try to be part of the in crowd. It's easy for people to sit at their keyboard and type things they would never say face to face.
> This is why I mainly tend to lurk rather than actually post.
> 
> Edited for typos


 i believe the nerd term is flaming. and i haven't been here very long but i have seen it happen, not in the most extreme form but there are time people seem a little too harsh (and some other times way too harsh). and people just go along with it like some1 has set this president of being overly abusive and every1 follows suit like its the best way to go about things when it really isnt


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## Athravan (Dec 28, 2006)

At the end of the day, this is a discussion forum.... and people will have different opinions, that's just life. People will argue, people will gossip, and bitch, and occasionally backstab, they will form friendships, and stick up for each other. It's what happens. It happens in real life in any organisation too.

But these people do not pay your wages, they do not matter to you, they are not in your real life - if you don't agree with what 50 people have said, stick your neck out and tell it like you see it (without abuse or swearing or threats of course!). Even if you offend 90% of the forum but stay true to yourself... well at the end of the day, when you leave, it's probably not that likely you will ever meet those 90%.

People take this forum too seriously. I think it is harder for businesses, because everyone knows their name, and in most places, where they work, and can phone them at work. I've actually had harrassing phone calls at my work place from people I don't know, and don't really care about, on RFUK who didn't agree with something I've said/done here. You just have to ignore them and use the forum in the way you enjoy, stick to your guns and your own opinion, use your brain, and ignore those who don't use theirs.

It's easy for people who can't be found, don't have a name, face, or business on here to act all tough and mouth about. They know that you will never get their phone number, turn up at their place of work, or affect their real lives. So you find that those not affiliated with any business or having any real investment in the forums will often cause trouble because they can, and it's fun for them... even if they thought about what they were saying, they would not stop and change, because they think there are no "real" consequences for their actions.

Obviously, saying things like the moderating team are just part of the problem is a bad way to make friends on a forum where people give up hours of every day for unpaid work - and it is work, not always fun... but hey, if that's what you honesty believe, perhaps you could stick to it and try to change things for the better by telling the moderators you do believe are above board which posts and problems you are having with the others... or going above the moderators head to T-bo... and try to improve things. You can't really complain about a problem if you have made no effort to address it (well, you can complain.. but you can't expect it to be taken seriously).


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## Kami22 (Apr 21, 2008)

zoeu said:


> And that's the exact reason I don't post too much. I'm new to reptiles, I've only had my beardie since Friday and although I've been researching for months there are still things that I'd like clarification on. BUT I don't want to ask in case I get jumped on :blush: I'm just one of those people who likes to check, check and check again.


well your incredibly welcome to talk to me about beardies without getting flamed! I just want everyone to enjoy this hobby so if you share the same veiw as me then your welcome to add me on msn and talk beardies/other herps (in fact anything, cos im very sociabale) and we can talk without fear of being jumped on!


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## adamntitch (Jun 17, 2007)

av p.med mods before about things and never got a reply bk only way you get an answer is to p.m t-bo


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## zoeu (Apr 8, 2008)

aw thanks, you're the second person that has said that!
and i guess this is the reason why i DO come on here, because there are people who are willing to help without the need to be overly "excitable" 



Kami22 said:


> well your incredibly welcome to talk to me about beardies without getting flamed! I just want everyone to enjoy this hobby so if you share the same veiw as me then your welcome to add me on msn and talk beardies/other herps (in fact anything, cos im very sociabale) and we can talk without fear of being jumped on!


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## dani11983 (Mar 17, 2007)

I agree BecciBoo. Some people do flame people for the sake of it and there is no real point to it other than to have a go because there are no consequences or knock-on effects for them. If a person made a mistake, be it with their reps or through their association with other indiviuals then by all means, point it out, just don't re-iterate or 'put in the same bag' so many times, so loudly and so publicly. Mention your differing opinion, move on and get over the fact that people may do things in an equally valid but different way.

On the mod thing. As far as I dealt with them they do a sterling job of keeping this huge bunch (sometimes loud and shouty rabble) in check for no financial recompense. Nice one Mods.


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## ratboy (Jan 10, 2007)

BecciBoo said:


> People make mistakes, all the time….nobody is perfect and nobody is always right! People are getting pushed out of a hobby that they clearly love and have a passion for. And that’s what all this is about after all, a hobby…that we love and enjoy.


This is something that really makes me smile. If you assume that all the members on here are unique... which is very unlikely ( having modded other forums it's amazing how many people just create a new account rather than find out the password for their old one or forget what their user name was )... so being VERY kind, it totals around 14,000. Now the figures a few YEARS ago were that there were around 1,000,000 reptile keepers in the UK so by now let's assume there are 1,500,000 given that this is supposed to be one of the fastest growing hobbies over the last 3-4 years.

So that's what... 0.93% of hobbiest keepers use the site. 

So how exactly are people being 'pushed out of the hobby' ?. Even if everyone on the forum called someone a berk... there are still 99% of the hobby left who haven't yet... and that's just in the UK 

People really do take 'forum life' way too seriously.


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## dani11983 (Mar 17, 2007)

ratboy said:


> This is something that really makes me smile. If you assume that all the members on here are unique... which is very unlikely ( having modded other forums it's amazing how many people just create a new account rather than find out the password for their old one or forget what their user name was )... so being VERY kind, it totals around 14,000. Now the figures a few YEARS ago were that there were around 1,000,000 reptile keepers in the UK so by now let's assume there are 1,500,000 given that this is supposed to be one of the fastest growing hobbies over the last 3-4 years.
> 
> So that's what... 0.93% of hobbiest keepers use the site.
> 
> ...


 
A fair point well made, within this little community of rep keepers that use RFUK though there is a significant minority who do use the anonimity of sitting behind a pc monitor as a chance to have a go.

Your right in saying people take what is said on the forum far too seriously but its not nice to be on the receiving end of it when you are equally as passionate about the 'hobby' (maybe more so) than the flamers themselves.


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## sparkle (Mar 21, 2007)

ratboy said:


> This is something that really makes me smile. If you assume that all the members on here are unique... which is very unlikely ( having modded other forums it's amazing how many people just create a new account rather than find out the password for their old one or forget what their user name was )... so being VERY kind, it totals around 14,000. Now the figures a few YEARS ago were that there were around 1,000,000 reptile keepers in the UK so by now let's assume there are 1,500,000 given that this is supposed to be one of the fastest growing hobbies over the last 3-4 years.
> 
> So that's what... 0.93% of hobbiest keepers use the site.
> 
> ...


exactly..

I get sick of people blaming forums for getting out of reptile keeping..
last year i was geting Pms threatening me daily because of a thread i started.. did i get upset.. a bit.... was i fed up witht he whole crap.. of course... did i sell al my animals and cry OH YOU HORRID PEOPLE you MADE me sell my animals... NO WAY

if the forums are causing you so much heartache then leave... simple..

that said i have spent hours at times on msn and on phone to people who have posted in the lizard section of rfuk who have got thinmgs badly wrong with husbandry and ive tried helping them when evryones jumped on them..

Ive calmed them donw when they have been upset etc and tried to gently correct the issues..

i dont mind doing that for newbies etc but when its long term keepers or breeders i feel they should know better really...

ive been on the receiving end of some pretty darn harsh stuff on here ( name calling, swearing, and actual threats) and i know i can be bolshy and in your face when replying to threads... although i have never threatened anyone.... but the very thought that anyone on here would cause me to just give up my animals is madness.. 

Id leave a million forums over before selling my animals because of anything on a forum...

and to use it as an excuse is really weak... the silly thing is keeping animals is about self responsibility for them,... so if some person you dont like on a forum gets the blame for a person selling up everything.. surely that shows a persons more willing to blame others than actually look at their REAL reasons why they are selling.. I cant eb bothered with people who cant self evaluate their emotional responses to external stimuli... they just annoy me

I also find is ridiculous that people think the forumites on here that have big collections are the largest sellers in the Uk and the most prominent..

.. there are hundreds and thousands of sellers who never come on forums... with excellent collections.. 

thats why on classifieds when rare species come up and breeders say.. but IM THE ONLY person in the UK who has bred... that species.. theres maybe 10 others who know of people who have,, then arguements kick off and people get upset because they dont feel special anymore... its a bit daft to be honest..

reptile breeders, keepers and hobbyists alike do not revolve their life around RFUK.. a tiny percentage of keepers and breeders use this forum..

sometimes people act like its the main centre of the reptile world..

I use forums for information and also out of sheer boredom, I find forums interesting and strange... two things my old job provided me with that I no longer have...... the condition I have means i cant work anymore sadly.. but when i did have a full time job I never went on a single forum ever... i simply didnt have the time..

I also notice that the very people who are harsh some of the time are the ones saying to others.. oh you nasty person how could you do this or that to poor Joe Bloggs..

Hypocrisy ini life is rife.. and forums are a tiny slice of life..

people wil never JUST get along.. thats impossible..

humans are what make up forums... humans will ALWAYS fight and argue and disagree.. but the peopel ive met in real life on here.. the ones i thought id instantly dislike have turned ou to be quite the opposite.. forum personaility is odd.. it doesnt give you a true indication of a persons whole personality only a smal insight to a tiny part of who they are..

and the ones that SEEM quiet and nicey nicey... well at times havent been... we are all different.. personailty, beliefs, strength of mind and emotionally.. that wont just go into remission on a forum,. if anything the dynamics of personality are heightened and changed in forums.. causing more oportunity for disagreements and so called harhsness..


what you type when behind a pc screen is often very different to what people are willing to be brave enough to SAY in real life.. ive read some very brave replies to some threads at times... quite nasty evem then in real life the people cant even meet your eye..

what i type id always be willing to say to someones face... calmly and carefully maybe... but without falseness..



and really thats that


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## Lynne (Jul 19, 2007)

what i hate is folk who think they know it all, and that their way HAS to be best. and folk who dont think before they post. there is truthfulness, and there is arrogance. inthis hobby there are no experts, everyone is learning every day. then there is the ones who will say 'no i dont like your snake'. and when the same is said to them they go off on one. if you cant take it, dont dish it out.

there only one person i have met on these forums who is exactly the same on them as he is off. and he can put his point across without hurting anyone.

oh and i dont type anything i wouldnt be willing to say to anyones face either.


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## sparkle (Mar 21, 2007)

Lynn.. i know what you mean about peopel taking offence at others saying BUT WHY dont u like my animal... that annoys me too... I dont keep mine for others to like.... I , I keep them not to show them off on the forums but for me and my kids enjoyment.

I dont need to be competative and showy like others ive seen.. so yeah that gets to me also...

I love seeing animal piccies but not when they are posted in a way that is blatantly trying to wind people up and gloat about things...

So i have to agree there...

On the emotive side..

Hurt is part of life. We all have a heart though. Life isnt a simple jigsaw we cant fit al the pieces together all of the time.

Its braver to appologise for our faults than to have the arrogance to think we have none.

I have many. hence i am have no issue admitting them.

its just sad that people become vicious... 

bolshy forthright attitudes are fine... in fact i rather like them.. physical threats and bullying are not.

However since forums are written word there wil always be the issues of semantics and word play. How one person views nastiness wil be someone elses arrogance and yet again someone elses point of view being made srtongly.. its simply a grey area through and through... and a total pshycological mindfield to boot... we all have feelings... none of us I dont think are monsters.. plenty of us though i notice hold severe grudge matches... which frankly is petty and childish... and whilst it would be very nice to think we could all JUST get along as we share a common interest..

thats daft... just take a look at football..

its in human beings natures to be tribal and clan like and when transferred to forums that becomes groups... add in emotions and hierarchy and that becomes cliques.. like it or not.

if you cant take the heat get out of the kitchen ( thats not to anyone in particular its just in general)

or just get off the forums for a few months .. that way perspective usually seeps back in..

i must admit i sometimes enjoy forums sometimes hate them.. but then im a very emotive person who enjoys thrashing out a bit of banter now and again..

and i always care more about the animals than the people..


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## Young_Gun (Jan 6, 2007)

Nothing makes people post on here, if you don't like whats said to you, then knob off, simple


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## FreddiesMum (Jan 10, 2007)

butterfly said:


> what i hate is folk who think they know it all, and that their way HAS to be best. and folk who dont think before they post. there is truthfulness, and there is arrogance. inthis hobby there are no experts, everyone is learning every day. then there is the ones who will say 'no i dont like your snake'. and when the same is said to them they go off on one. if you cant take it, dont dish it out.
> 
> there only one person i have met on these forums who is exactly the same on them as he is off. and he can put his point across without hurting anyone.
> 
> oh and i dont type anything i wouldnt be willing to say to anyones face either.


Well said : victory:


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## Lynne (Jul 19, 2007)

i think we all care about our animals, so there is nothing new there. and if you get hastle or threatening pm's pass them on, or stick them on the forum. and i think if people become 'vicious' it because other people cause that. i wouldnt call it vicious, i would call it standing up for yourself.
im certainly not clannish. i have a few friends who's company i enjoy, other than that i prefer my snakes and animals company.
as to the 'why dont you like my snake' thing, i personally dont care who likes mine and who doesnt. and the comments im talking about were not made about mine. but you cant say you dont like a certain snake, then if someone comes on and says yours arent their cup of tea, cause an uproar.
you are right though, there is arrogance and ignorance. to see both in the same person is rare indeed.


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## ratboy (Jan 10, 2007)

One thing that I for one forget many times is that in many, many cases on here... you are in fact talking to children. It should really come as little surprise then when childish things happen.


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## emma_fyfe (Jan 8, 2006)

if you keep getting threatening pm's off someone, i think you should be allowed to paste them all onto the forum so everyone can see what they are like! not likely to happen though!:lol2:


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## ratboy (Jan 10, 2007)

emma_fyfe said:


> if you keep getting threatening pm's off someone, i think you should be allowed to paste them all onto the forum so everyone can see what they are like! not likely to happen though!:lol2:


I should hope not too. PM's can easily be made up.


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## emma_fyfe (Jan 8, 2006)

ratboy said:


> I should hope not too. PM's can easily be made up.


yeah it could get quite silly. i meant if you couldnt edit them etc : victory:


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## Lynne (Jul 19, 2007)

there is a way you cant edit them, but dont ask me what it is. i have seen it mentioned though.


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## emma_fyfe (Jan 8, 2006)

you can do screen shots but if your any good with photoshop then they can be edited quite easily


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## Lynne (Jul 19, 2007)

ah is that what it is. im not much good with anything on comps. i can turn them on and turn them off and thats about it.


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## sparkle (Mar 21, 2007)

i dont even have photoshop on mine..

my daughter keeps asking me to get it..

Im useless at stuff like that..

hey ho i think im a bit of a luddite when it comes to technology..


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## Lynne (Jul 19, 2007)

i cant even post my pics on rfuk!!!!


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## BecciBoo (Aug 31, 2007)

I don't think some people realise why I actually wrote this thread :bash:
Interesting read tho!


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## Morelia Matt (Dec 6, 2006)

I haven’t seen many threatening threads about of late although I tend to stay out of the non reptile stuff, What i have seen though is dozens of threads moaning about people not getting on etc and it gets a bit boring. This is a public forum, arguing is always going to happen and i for one enjoy seeing people argue their points. I think sometimes peoples posts come of a little harsher than intended when they are submitted and read back, i know a few of mine have in the past, don’t take things so seriously as all the real bullies etc soon get found out in this community as do the scammers etc... As pretty much everyone has said if you don’t like the way the forum works then there is a simple solution... don’t post here, or find one where everyone agrees with everything you say



All that said, going on this...


BecciBoo said:


> I don't think some people realise why I actually wrote this thread :bash:
> Interesting read tho!


 you obviously have a specific issue in which case this thread wont achieve anything, if some one has been out of order then PM T-bo or one of the mods and hopefully all will be resolved soon enough.


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## Snake_Pliskin (Apr 7, 2008)

yeah have to agree with becciboo on this one. this place is terrible for people faulting stuff, example i saw today... student girl on here doing photography.. she offered to goto people houses etc and take photos for free of peoples reps and inverts for free, just cover the cost of her traveling there. you wouldnt believe the sniping she got from one person on the threads. wonder why people bother with this sometimes ya know! :whip:


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## BecciBoo (Aug 31, 2007)

Morelia Matt said:


> All that said, going on this... you obviously have a specific issue in which case this thread wont achieve anything, if some one has been out of order then PM T-bo or one of the mods and hopefully all will be resolved soon enough.


The issue that this was specifically about was resolved. This thread (wrote nearly two weeks ago) brought light on the issues lots of people have and I said a lot of what other people wouldn't, not because I don't like the people on here but because I don't like to see people been pushed around and trodden down by people who think the are hard from behind a computer screen! 



Snake_Pliskin said:


> yeah have to agree with becciboo on this one. this place is terrible for people faulting stuff, example i saw today... student girl on here doing photography.. she offered to goto people houses etc and take photos for free of peoples reps and inverts for free, just cover the cost of her traveling there. you wouldnt believe the sniping she got from one person on the threads. wonder why people bother with this sometimes ya know! :whip:


I saw that too and it was so wrong what she was saying....its things like this that really get me annoyed. :devil:


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## feorag (Jul 31, 2007)

Andy said:


> I've said it before but I will say it again, if you see posts that you think are abusive/offensive please report them using the report function.


Can I just ask though, when something like this happens and someone makes a complaint about an aggressive post, why are they not contacted to be told whether the mods agree or disagree that the post they are complaining about is aggressive or inflammatory?

How are we supposed to know that anything has been done about it at all if we aren't told?


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## DeanThorpe (Apr 9, 2006)

[above] good point I guess.
In regards to editing pm's, surely a mod gaining access to a user account to check the original pm would eliminate any bs?


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## hermanlover (Jul 8, 2007)

feorag said:


> Can I just ask though, when something like this happens and someone makes a complaint about an aggressive post, why are they not contacted to be told whether the mods agree or disagree that the post they are complaining about is aggressive or inflammatory?
> 
> How are we supposed to know that anything has been done about it at all if we aren't told?


i agree with this post, reported a few posts in an debate that got personal the other day, but havent got a clue whether anything got done

as for the point of this thread, its all a bit rich from some of the people.


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## HABU (Mar 21, 2007)

i like good banter... arguments can be productive... name calling or other personal attacks are out of line.


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## hermanlover (Jul 8, 2007)

HABU said:


> i like good banter... arguments can be productive... name calling or other personal attacks are out of line.


exactly, nearly all debates on here end in name calling, and personal attacks, and you would be surprised who they are from, i know i cant exactly say im innocent, but the people complaining in this thread really cant speak, as they are the worst for it! thats the bit thats annoying me :lol2:


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## feorag (Jul 31, 2007)

HABU said:


> i like good banter... arguments can be productive... name calling or other personal attacks are out of line.


Have to say Habu that I've never thought you were one of the ones that were constantly having a go or slagging people off. I've always thought you try to be helpful to novices and people asking for advice, rather than having a go at them.


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## fenwoman (Apr 15, 2008)

BecciBoo said:


> I’ve been pretty gob smacked at some threads and post recently and I personally think that its totally out of order that some people on this forum can’t just think before the open their mouths (type on there keyboards!). And then everyone jumps on the bandwagon.
> 
> People make mistakes, all the time….nobody is perfect and nobody is always right! People are getting pushed out of a hobby that they clearly love and have a passion for. And that’s what all this is about after all, a hobby…that we love and enjoy.
> 
> ...


 But surely if someone picks faults in your set up, you can argue your corner and explain why you do things a certain way? By reasoned debate people can see several sides to an argument as to what is the best method and decide which is best for them while learning about alternatives? Just because someone disagrees, it doesn't mean they are being disagreeable.
If someone posts about a natural viv and someone else responds and mentions just to put kitchen rool etc, you can explain why you prefer not to this. If someone else points out that something you are doing, could be dangerous, then take it on board, weigh up the supposed risks and just do what you feel right. No need to get upset if someone disagrees.


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## feorag (Jul 31, 2007)

I don't think it has anything to do with people disagreeing - we are all different after all, but it's the _way_ that people disagree that is unnecessary!


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## Young_Gun (Jan 6, 2007)

feorag said:


> I don't think it has anything to do with people disagreeing - we are all different after all, but it's the _way_ that people disagree that is unnecessary!


I talk/type on here and act on here exactly as I do in real life, if everyone did, things would run a lot smoother.


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## HABU (Mar 21, 2007)

sharing ideas and disagreeing is what is good in any forum. you have to read between the lines at times... this is why i post pics many times, they convey things that can't be put into words very easily... i've shown my *ss many times here and more than a few posts have "hit" me the wrong way... like if your snake has just regurged and someone posts something that pushes your buttons.....i for one never i don't think, hold anything against anyone... we can fight and disagree but at other times we are singing from the same hymn-book... that's all i'm saying...


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## Andy (Jul 27, 2005)

feorag said:


> Can I just ask though, when something like this happens and someone makes a complaint about an aggressive post, why are they not contacted to be told whether the mods agree or disagree that the post they are complaining about is aggressive or inflammatory?
> 
> How are we supposed to know that anything has been done about it at all if we aren't told?


To be fair if we PMd everyone who reported a post we wouldnt have time to do anything else we would be PMing all night! What I can say though is rest assured all reported posts are seen and, if deemed neccessary, dealt with by way of warnings/infractions/bans. We dont usually make a point of telling the person who reported the post what we have done.


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## hermanlover (Jul 8, 2007)

Andy said:


> To be fair if we PMd everyone who reported a post we wouldnt have time to do anything else we would be PMing all night! What I can say though is rest assured all reported posts are seen and, if deemed neccessary, dealt with by way of warnings/infractions/bans. We dont usually make a point of telling the person who reported the post what we have done.


could there not just be an automatic pm sent once it is read? like when you get an infraction you get an automatic message, jsut so people know it has been seen, coz some times you dont even know whenther it has been read, let alone dealt with


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## Athravan (Dec 28, 2006)

californiankinglover said:


> could there not just be an automatic pm sent once it is read? like when you get an infraction you get an automatic message, jsut so people know it has been seen, coz some times you dont even know whenther it has been read, let alone dealt with


They are all 100% read by someone, most by 2-3 if not more mods in a fairly short space of time, and all are dealt with... it's pretty impossible for everyone on the team to miss a report. I know if I'm online (which is a lot!) I check that section at least every 30 minutes and another mod has usually still beaten me to any action that needs taking


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## essexchondro (Apr 9, 2007)

> But surely if someone picks faults in your set up, you can argue your corner and explain why you do things a certain way? By reasoned debate people can see several sides to an argument as to what is the best method and decide which is best for them while learning about alternatives? Just because someone disagrees, it doesn't mean they are being disagreeable.
> If someone posts about a natural viv and someone else responds and mentions just to put kitchen rool etc, you can explain why you prefer not to this. If someone else points out that something you are doing, could be dangerous, then take it on board, weigh up the supposed risks and just do what you feel right. No need to get upset if someone disagrees.


Well said! If these forums we all about kissing each others backsides then what would be the point? As far as I'm concerned, as long as people express their point of view in a logical fashion with a reasoned and clear argument (preferably in well written english!) then they can say what they want. The only people that get abusive and resort to personal insults tend to be the people that have weak arguments with nothing better to say anyway.


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