# My beardie doesn't like me :(



## BeccaBoo2010 (Aug 30, 2010)

Title says it all really. I got my beardie, Edward, last October. He's a beautiful lizard and really brightens up our living room (he's a beautiful red citrus) but he doesn't like me. He's like a very expensive moving ornament that I have to handle locusts for!

I can look, but not touch. 

He was ok at first. I let him settle into his new home for a week or so when we brought him home and then started trying to get him used to me. He would dash around the viv to avoid being picked up, but was fine once I managed to get hold of him. 

But he became more agressive the bigger he got and I admit that I eventually stopped handling him as often - there's only so many times I can let myself get bitten before I get the hint and leave him be. 

Well, enough is enough. I'm determined to make him at least tolerate me. The problem is, whenever I try to handle him, he puffs up his throat and it goes jet black and he hisses at me. Sometimes he even pounces at me, mouth wide open, and bites. He eventually stops thrashing around when Ive managed to pick him up if I keep holding him for a while, but he doesn't actually calm down. Any slight movement sets him off and it's a very traumatic process for the both of us and he sits completely still, looking very angry, for up to an hour after I put him down. He clearly hates being handled at all. 

I've bought myself some gloves to protect myself and I've been trying to persevere, but he just seems so aggressive and so unhappy about me being anywhere near him that I wonder whether it's worth upsetting him so much. 

I wish I could understand why he's so aggressive. The temps in his viv are fine, he's got a 36" Arcadia 12% uv strip bulb, he's in an ex48 viv and is fed veg and gut loaded locusts daily (dusted with calcium mon-fri and nutrobal sat-sun). He also poos regularly (so I get the wonderful job of trying to clean up stinky lizard poo whilst trying to avoid being bitten)

He seems very happy and active all the time I'm nowhere near him. The only time he tolerates my hand inside the viv is if I've got food for him. 

Any advice would be much appreciated. I wish I hadn't given up on handling him, but it just seemed to upset him so much and I didn't enjoy getting bitten too much either!


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## imitebmike (Jun 22, 2008)

do you wear perfume/some other spray? maybe you smell like something he dislikes

Buy some long tongs, and try tong feeding  dont go straight for the pick up, expect a couple of falls along the way too

use his like of food as a tool  

oh, and maybe buy/use some gloves...Dont back down if he bites/dont give up if he bites/and dont lose your temper  he is just doing what has worked for him so far


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## ..:: F1D0 ::.. (May 13, 2009)

Unfortunately some are like that but over time can be "tamed" to a degree. There are quite a few things you can do.



Do not wear any black tops/trousers when approaching the viv
Do not enter his domain with your hands above him, keep them at eye level or even better lower so he thinks hes bigger than what is in there
Place an old item of your clothing in the viv with your scent on he will soon recognise this scent wth you
Try to hand feed - by this i mean get something like a calci worm/wax worm and place in the palm of your hand so he has to come to you for food
As daft as this sounds, talk to him with the viv door open
Do not show any fear
I have recently gone through trying to tame my 3rd whose a baby and she was far from easy. My other 2 took around a week of steady handling, feeding and talking - i have had my baby 3 months now and no longer puffs and gapes as i enter the viv.

The biggest thing and most important step from the list above is not to approach them from above. They have a pariteal eye (a lens that senses light in middle of their heads) whilst they can not "see" with this, they can recognise shapes and changes in light with it. If you have taken him outside, you would have no doubt seen him look straight up at the sky. This is a primeval instinct as in the wild, they would be attacked from above by predators.

Keep up the work, do not give up on him but you may have to reside to the fact he may be one of those that do not like being handled as much


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## BeccaBoo2010 (Aug 30, 2010)

Thanks for the reply  

I bought myself a pair of gardening gloves yesterday. Not too thick, because I wanted to be able to get a good grip on him when be started wriggling. They're the only reason I managed to hold him at all today - he was determined to bite me. He actually seemed annoyed when I didn't didn't flinch (thanks to the gloves) and bit me again as if to try and figure out why it didn't work!!

I'm a low maintenance girl and don't wear perfume (maybe that's the problem - maybe he doesn't think I'm making enough of an effort for him!) but I'll try handling him in the morning before spraying my deodorant, in case he doesn't like that. 

I have a pair of feeding tongs, which I use to feed him the occasional wax worm treat and sometimes use them to feed him his locusts. Whenever I have food in my hands, he's happy. He jumps at me and snatches the food from the tongs and then tries to eat the tongs too - he's a very greedy lizard. But he's completely different if I don't have those yellow tongs in my hand!

I'm determine not to give up. I just don't like upsetting him buly forcing him to be handled and wish the process could be a bit quicker


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## imitebmike (Jun 22, 2008)

Dont go straight for the pick up  start by like feeding him some livefood via tongs for like a week or two, without picking him up, then try moving onto stroking him and then letting him eat a bug for a week or something, THEN try the pick up, if it dont work, keep stroking + feeding

i think that would work...


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## v4mpiress (May 1, 2011)

*hmm*

shave of your beardie then or hide mirror


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## BeccaBoo2010 (Aug 30, 2010)

Thanks F1D0, I must have been posting at the sane time you were as I didn't see your reply. 

I didn't think about not wearing black. That describes most of my wardrobe!! 

I'm not sure I'm brave enough to actually hand feed him. I feed him with tongs, but I'm pretty sure he'd just bite me if I had food in my palm. 

I'm already careful to approach from below his level. It helps that his viv is on a cabinet and he likes to climb his bamboo root, so it's quite easy to stay below him when I out my hand in the viv. I'll try putting an item of clothing in the viv too. It used to help when I kept rats, but I hadn't thought of trying it with Edward. 

And I already talk to him all the time - I sit with the viv door open, gently pleading with him to like me and calmly explaining why I'm awesome and why he's being unreasonable. It does sound daft, but I'm a bit daft anyway. 

Thanks for the advice


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## rum&coke (Apr 19, 2009)

Yep just go's to prove that every individual reptile is different and dont always live up to the stereotype. Some reptiles that are always classed as aggressive you will always get some that are docile and some reptiles that are always classed as tame you will get some that are nasty little :censor:.
Just they way it go's. My first beardie was the same it was really aggressive and would not be handled, I used to have to put a tea towel over it just to be able to pick it up. I have had quite a few other beardies since then and kept them all in exactly the same way and never had the same issue so it must have just been the way that particular animal was not anything I was doing.


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## RedDragonPixie (Apr 12, 2011)

If he accepts the tongs giving him food you need to transfer that to your hand, try feeding him from your hand, use your glove if you're afraid of him biting. 
If you have the stomach to hold the insects try with them everyday. Have him eating from your hand and then see where you can take it.
At the least you will be able to get him to associate you with food rather than the tongs.


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## BeccaBoo2010 (Aug 30, 2010)

Sorry to drag up an old(ish) thread, but I wanted to give an update on this.

Since my last post, I've spent at least half an hour every day trying to make my dragon like me.

He eats from my hand (no gloves, so that's an improvement) and he's fine with my hands being in the viv to clean up his stinky poo and feed him. But as far as handling him... no luck. If he's in a good mood, I can stroke the end of his tail... he just doesn't like being handled. Getting him out of the viv is a military operation with gloves and must be done very very quickly.

Unfortunately, I'm now considering rehoming him. We've made some progress. He's not as agressive anymore but he's still very unhappy about being touched, let alone being handled. 

I know I was probably naive, but I chose a beardie because I wanted a lizard that I could handle. I didn't expect him to be cuddly (I'm not a complete fool) but I did expect to be able to pick him up without being hissed at. I feel like I've let him down (I've never given up on a pet before) but I wonder if someone with more time or more experience (or even someone who doesn't mind having a pet they can only look at) will have more luck with him.


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## G.R/Trooper (Feb 20, 2011)

BeccaBoo2010 said:


> Well, enough is enough. I'm determined to make him at least tolerate me.


 
As a first point let me tell you; No reptile WANTS to be handled, it merely tolerates you as a keeper and therefore you should never set your standards high. It's all to do with trust and the best way to create that special bond with your pet is food bribes, done by hand feeding. 

Some of the most common causes of aggressive behaviour are simple ones such as substrate stuck in the door runners (makes a god-awful sound when glass opened) and will be amplified to the beardy. 

Another is it's husbandry. It may not feel safe, or it may have crickets nibbling away at it at night (causing great deals of stress). If the enclosure is too small for it's liking then it will reward you with a little bite.

Another VERY common cause of aggressive behaviour in a beardy is it's "third eye". Predators will be detected by this in the wild and the beardies natural instict is to either run, or stand it's ground and give you a souvineer (spellchecker please). Try to avoid putting your hand behind/above him when you go to pick him up.

Finally, i would check for mites. They can cause a great deal of stress so have a little peek and make sure it's definatly not that.

I would suggest you get some coloured tongs and spend the next few weeks feeding him with them. They will soon associate the colour & object with food. Once he is doing that without going mad you can ditch the tongs and use your hands instead. This way he will then associate you with food rather than the tongs, and that special bond will begin. The final step is to open the viv doors and place the box of food just outside the enclosure. 

I hope this helps and sorry if i have covered things over people have already said, i briefly read SOME of your post and nobodies replies. Let me know how you get on.

Edit from here: Please don't give up. It really doesnt take that long and to be honest rehoming the poor bugger will only make him worse for the next owner, and all your hard work would have been for nothing. Perseverance is the key, i should know as i have had an AWD for 9 months that still wont tame down, but he gets handled every day and were slowly working on the trust issues. If you really want him to get better then you can't give up on him, and tbh (and i risk sounding like a tosser here) it's not really fair to just palm him off when you have come so far together.


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## BeccaBoo2010 (Aug 30, 2010)

Hi, thank you for your reply. 

Unfortunately, I've already tried those things. There's no noisy substrate in the door runners, I'm always very careful to approach him at his level or lower, he's in a vivexotic ex48 viv, so definitely big enough for him, I feed him locusts (because i hate crickets) and they're never left in the viv with him overnight, so he's definitely not being nibbled and the temps in his viv are good. He also does not have mites, he's very healthy as far as I can tell. 

He eats, poos and sheds well and generally seems quite happy as long as I'm not trying to touch him. He'll eat from my hand just fine, but if I try to touch him he gets very aggressive. his viv is on a cabinet, so I can't really tempt him out of it. 

I already admitted to being naive when I got him. I chose a beardie because everything I read said they were docile lizards that are easy to handle. Like I said, I didn't expect him to be a cuddly pet, but I did expect to be able to handle him. I've tried and I'm still trying, but we got to the stage we're at now very quickly and I just can't seem to make anymore progress with him.

Edited to add: when I first got him, I could handle him fine. As he got older and bigger, he became more aggressive. I admit I didn't help matters by avoiding handling him after he bit me, but that doesn't explain why he became aggressive in the first place and I've been trying to handle him every day for the last 2 months and we're just not making progress anymore.


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## 123dragon (Jan 15, 2011)

you could try putting one hand on the floor in the viv and hand a locust in the other hand and see if you can encourage him to climb onto your hand to get the locust, 
once he is doing that you can start to lift your hand of the ground an inch or so at a time so you have him sat on your hand compleatly


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## kay&Bert (Mar 24, 2011)

becca, perservere with it honestly my sisters beardy used to be a viscious so n so and its taken nearly a year to get him to a point where he will be picked up but his brother bert is so placid its unbeleiveable.
my bert is placid aswell,


Keep trying with the hand food association, try and coax him onto your arm when feeding, 

i.e holdin mealworm etc up by your elbow and coaxing him up there, maybe once he learns that your not going to harm him, and your there go care for him he may calm down more to what he is. i beg you dont rehome him just because of this, i feel that you would regret it.


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## G.R/Trooper (Feb 20, 2011)

BeccaBoo2010 said:


> Hi, thank you for your reply.
> 
> Unfortunately, I've already tried those things. There's no noisy substrate in the door runners, I'm always very careful to approach him at his level or lower, he's in a vivexotic ex48 viv, so definitely big enough for him, I feed him locusts (because i hate crickets) and they're never left in the viv with him overnight, so he's definitely not being nibbled and the temps in his viv are good. He also does not have mites, he's very healthy as far as I can tell.
> 
> ...


It can take a long time to tame a reptile, the key is to keep at it. "Trying" those things will just not work, you need to keep doing them and make it as frequent as possible. Even turning the lights out at night and then placing your hand inside (he will be a bit slower and tolerant of you like this) will show an improvement. Unfortunatly once again it's a classic case of people buying things and not taking responsibility for them. I know i sound like an arse but this is a reason why so many beardies are found ill-treated and/or up for rehoming; because the buyer didnt research enough. You can not take an animal and place it in a box with the expectance that he/she will be instantly tame, these are not dogs & cats. Keep working with it and the end result will be overwhelming.


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## trudib (Jul 24, 2011)

Im lucky that mine is the most placid thing going and somedays to laid back, nothing he likes more then being stroked and getting attention, must be a nightmare but bear with it i got mine as an adult and have had him coming up for two months now it took some time but i have a great relationship with him now, he never bit but he used to be very jumpy and puff up. Now he constantly wants attention especially since he moved from sons room to new 4ft viv downstairs and jumps on my hand to get him out and have his run around downstairs


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## stinglestick (Aug 28, 2008)

BeccaBoo2010 said:


> Sorry to drag up an old(ish) thread, but I wanted to give an update on this.
> 
> Since my last post, I've spent at least half an hour every day trying to make my dragon like me.
> 
> ...


Are you a bit tense when you pick him up??I used to be like this with a particularly anxious snake I used to own.The more stressed I got the more she got stressed and used to lash out .A hard cycle to break.Can you not just open up the viv and see if he wants to come out of his own accord?. Also put a hot water bottle wrapped in a towel on your knee and just let him sit on that without patting etc..Just so he gains confidence around you.They love the warmth so will generally happily sit there.
When my beardie is out she likes to sit on the window sill on a wrapped up hot water bottle just watching the cars outside etc..She likes a stroke but is happy on her own too..worth a try?


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## Spikebrit (Oct 23, 2006)

You've done so much, dont give up yet. 

he will learn to tolerate you in the end, but just like some people we dont all like being held or picked up. I have many reps here taht are striclty look but dont touch. I enjoy just sitting there and watching them do their own think. 

Why not provide a ramp in and out of the viv, so the bearder and go as it pleases. Then it may calm down a bit when outside of the viv. 

if he doesnt want cuddles just enjoy him as a view only pet. 

Jay


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## BeccaBoo2010 (Aug 30, 2010)

G.R/Trooper said:


> It can take a long time to tame a reptile, the key is to keep at it. "Trying" those things will just not work, you need to keep doing them and make it as frequent as possible. Even turning the lights out at night and then placing your hand inside (he will be a bit slower and tolerant of you like this) will show an improvement. Unfortunatly once again it's a classic case of people buying things and not taking responsibility for them. I know i sound like an arse but this is a reason why so many beardies are found ill-treated and/or up for rehoming; because the buyer didnt research enough. You can not take an animal and place it in a box with the expectance that he/she will be instantly tame, these are not dogs & cats. Keep working with it and the end result will be overwhelming.


I normally try to bite my tongue in cases such as this, because I know people are only trying to help and posting on public forums leaves you open to criticism, which I usually accept, but I'm afraid I have to agree with you on this one - you do sound like arse.

First, you didn't bother reading the whole post or the helpful replies I had already received and proceeded to give me advice I had already been given.

Now, this second reply seems like you still haven't read the previous information given and I find your reply quite insulting.

I have not just been "trying" different things. For the last 2 months (and for some time before this as I didn't post my first request for help without first trying on my own), I have spent at least half an hour every day (I simply do not have time to spend longer than this - I wish I did, but I don't) doing all of the things people have suggested since I first posted and making very little progress.

This is nothing to do with me buying something and not taking responsibility for it. If that was the case, he would be gone already. I have posted here because I wanted help to avoid having to rehome a reptile that cost me an awful lot of money (twice as much as I would have paid if I'd gone to a petshop because I wanted to make sure I got him from a reputable breeder) and that I have spent an awful lot of time trying to tame. Despite being bitten on occasion and hissed at every day, I have made sure that my lizard is well fed and well cared for.

Before buying Edward, I did a lot of research. I drove over an hour to meet the breeder and spent time with her and her lizards before making a decision to buy one. She has also been a great source of advice since I brought him home and agrees that I have worked very hard with him with very little success.

This was not an impulse pet shop buy and I did not expect him to be instantly tame (as I've mentioned before, I may have been a little naive, but I am not a complete fool). But I did - following research and discussion with the breeder - expect a lizard that I could handle at least in some way.

If I do rehome Edward, it will not be done lightly.

Thank you to everyone else for you helpful replies and advice. I really do appreciate you taking the time to try and help me.

I haven't given up yet.


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## 123dragon (Jan 15, 2011)

ive had an idea that had to do with my beardie when his hormones started to kick in, 
put some crickets or somthing in a large dish or box so he climbs in then put this on the floor and let him out to run around, 
he will burn his energy and might be more relaxed


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## Atomicide (May 31, 2010)

This is in no way at all a dig at you, but sometimes it's just the person. My bearded dragon absolutely despises my sister, we have tried everything from no perfume, new perfume, different clothes, hats to hide hair, everything.

He disliked her from day one and nothing has ever changed that. Seemingly anyone else in the world can come along, open his tank and get nothing more than "that look" and then either mild intrest or completely blanked.

I've never had to bother about mine hating my sister because she only visits once in a while, and even then she doesn't go near him so as not to stress him out.

The only thing I could suggest, as I don't remember seeing you mention it, but try someone else handling him. Obviously you need someone who isn't scared to "take one for the team" so to speak, but at the very least if you try one or two other people (male and female for example) and just see if there is anything different in his attitude.


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