# Thinking of giving up



## sammy1969 (Jul 21, 2007)

I am seriously thinking of giving up on reptiles, nothing seems to be going right just now and it is really depressing not only has my little royal girl gone awol but now i find out that my rescued iggy has got some form of mites, well two types of by the looks of it, some are red in colour and some are black. 
I just cant beleive my luck is this bad over the past few months i have lost six non feeders, which were bought for me (yes i know this happens but still doesnt make me feel any better)even though they were being force fed think the stress just got too much for them.And two more from some infection.
Just feel like i am not supposed to keep reptiles anymore as obviously i am doing something wrong but dont know what.
Anyone ever feel like this?
sam


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## Sam&Si (Apr 11, 2007)

I recently sold up my collection. My reason was things just got to much. It seemed reps took over my house..and OH was working longer hours so was left all down to me.

you have to do whats right for you and the reps. If its just as things going a bit pear shaped dont rush into a decision. We thought about it for months before i finally said they had to go.

clear your iggy of mites and have a good think before you rush in and regret it. I remember having mites on our big boa....and it got me down the keep cleaning and de miting..but once gone they were gone...and didnt come back

sam


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## Shelley (Jan 15, 2007)

i lost 3 of my collard hatchlings at the end of last year and i too questioned whether to carry on or sell up.
I couldn't bear the thought of losing anymore but i decided to carry on and be grateful for the 2 i have left and the 3 adults i've got.
Think hard on which is the best option for you and if you decide to keep them,think positive and attack those mites with a vengeance :lol2:
Good luck x


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## Athravan (Dec 28, 2006)

I think we all think about selling up when we're down, don't make any rush decisions you might regret though... I hope your royal will turn up, and the mites will hopefully get cleared up in a few weeks with a bit of treatment so that'll take that stress away from you.


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## kelly (Mar 3, 2006)

i know exactly how you are feeling. im feeling the same myself at the moment and have for a few weeks. lost a beardie and agama in december 2 non feding corns and a rabbit. ive decided to rehome all the rabbits its just weather to sell all the reps.

its really hard decision to make but i know you will make the right one for yourself. im here if you need someone to moan or cry at


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## gaz (Oct 5, 2005)

get a grip,where there's livestock,there's dead stock. Its a fact of being in this sort of game.
regards gaz


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## candoia aspera (Mar 5, 2007)

gaz said:


> get a grip,where there's livestock,there's dead stock. Its a fact of being in this sort of game.
> regards gaz


 
not the most sensitive approach gaz 

but it's the plain honist truth

especially if you take in 6 non feeders that are being force fed, you should kind of expect this to happen


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## kelly (Mar 3, 2006)

it is true gaz but still dont make it any easier. i dont think id get rid of my reps its something i enjoy doing and if i didnt have them then id have nothing really. just hard when things die.


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## gaz (Oct 5, 2005)

always go into things with your eyes open innit,recueing things brings far more risk of failure than any other pastime,so should not be suprised when things dont go to plan every now and then. 
Possibly i was a tad harsh,but theres no point beating round the bush,if we all ran away every time things went tits up the world would be in a fine mess:lol2:.........but then again it IS:bash:
anyway get back on your horse and ride an all that.
regards gaz


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## Mason (Jan 21, 2008)

can I make a suggestion?

Perhaps you need to look at the way you go about your herping.

Losing non feeders is par for the course..why buy/aquire the non feeders in the first place?

A rescue animals with a problem?

It's going to happen, while rescuing is admirable, as is taking on non feeders you don't do either unless you are prepared to deal with both sides.

Yes a non feeder is a way of giving a snake a chance, or getting a cheap snake. It's also a way to spend hours and hours of your life labouring on a snake only to have it die.

Leave the recuiing to rescue centers, or don't do it unless you are prepared for vets bills, hassle, trauma and loss. IT all comes hand in hand.

Seems to me you are not emotionally prepared to deal with the types of situation you are letting yourself in for.

Always a chance non feeders wont make it and there is every chance an animal that needed rescuing will have a problem or two..and mite is a very very minor issue in the grand scheme of what could be wrong with a rescue iggy. the correct tools and plenty of elbow grease and they are gone.

Perhaps you need to bear these kind of situations in mind before making any future commitments.

If you can't bear to loose animals, or to have things not go right, or for things to be hard rather than easy then consider this when getting newe animals rather than after. Buy healthy reptiles and look after them well and they will reward you.

Perhaps the thing you are doing wrong is either not thinking through completely the implications of what you are doing be that taking on these things out of the goodness of your heart, or in pursuit of a cheap reptile or any mixture of the two.


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## wohic (Jun 19, 2006)

Taking on non feeders is very demoralising and expenive.......... you need to be mildly insane to do it.........

the thing is although some dont feed because they are not being offered wht tickles their fancy others dont feed because they have much more serious underlying problems that will never improve.... osing them is a fact of life.
Mites......... not really a massive deal, no more so than the dog getting fleas and worms, treated quickly and sensibly and most of all very thoroughly they will go.


Chin up and toughen up hon, its the only way


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## sammy1969 (Jul 21, 2007)

OK think i need to clear something up the four non feeders i lost were supposed to of been feeding when they were bought for me but we soon found out they werent feeding at all, which was a bit of a shock. I had a crash course in force feeding after trying many other methods to try and get them to eat but i knew their deaths were a distinct possibility once i had found out they didnt feed but still didnt make things any easier. 
The other two snakes that i lost was a complete shock as had no idea they were ill at all they were bought has healthy and were feeding fine etc just woke up one morning to find they were both dead glad they were both in quarentine though as could have lost all my stock and not just my birthday present.
I know rep keeping isnt easy i have done it now for many years on and off but am still learning just feel at the moment things are not going well and it is so disheartening, dont think it helps that other things arent going well either so that may be adding to it all, but i can honestly say i dont take things on unless i know enough about them etc and would never rescue just for the sake of getting a cheap reptile,thats not fair on me or the rep concerned.
Just feel that things are not going well and that i am a failure on the other hand hubby has said there is no way we are getting rid of the reps and that things will sort themselves out it is just a slump that weare going through and who knows maybe he is right
still sorry for going on
Sam


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## GRB (Jan 24, 2008)

Why not just tone down your collection? 

Instead of having 10's of reptiles, what is wrong with having one or two? That way, you can spend more attention on them and at the same time, regain some of your life back in terms of time saved not looking after dozens of reptiles. 

I have to admit, it keep seeing people on these forums with oodles of animals - fine I guess if you make your living fromm them, but as pets, I just can't see it working without lots of stress - for you, and the animals. There's no shame in having only one pet.


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## freekygeeky (May 25, 2007)

u'll get through it, we have had many problems over the last few weeks, so much so i have ended up crying. 
oldest gecko died
one died from a brain hemoridge - only tiny.
had mites everywhere
viv stacks.. still not here...

etctec

itll be ok


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## GRB (Jan 24, 2008)

I am the only person that thinks having so many pets is a recipe for disaster?

Freekygeeky, not to have a go personally, but you are 19, and you have about 4x as many pets as you are old. Do you think you can look after that many pets with the same level of dedication as you would if you had less? Do you socialise, or go on holiday? What happens when you move? I alos wonder what landlord is happy with so many pets? 

The simple fact is, that having so many pets is very stressful, as I can plainly see from people's posts who own lots of pets. This is a general statement again, not directed at anyone in particular, as there are a lot of poeple who are very stressed it seems - the people with the most animals are routinely on here with problems regarding either the animals, the finance or the stress involved in looking after them. 

I always operate by the philosophy that as soon as it becomes a chore, you HAVE to think about the animal. If it's better off somewhere else, with someone who does not feel it as a chore, then they animal should go. Its a horrible thing, but the animal must come first, always. Killing by ignorance or negligance is just so unfair to the animal. 

Sammy1969, I dont want to sound dis-respectful, as I am sure that you are very experienced and know what you are doing. But by the sounds of it, it is wearing you down. I think you have dived into a very deep, depressing pool and its stressing you out - owning a pet should be fun, exciting and interesting. It really sounds like you've been through the wars, and its a shame you see the hobby in a negative fashion as such. Perhaps a little holiday from petkepping, or even just a toning down of what you own could re-vitelise your interests?

Reading this, it all seems very reasonable as a response, but then again, I can intonate it as I read it. No doubt this might ruffle a few feathers unintentionally...


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## sammy1969 (Jul 21, 2007)

Grb
I dont see my pets as a chore to be honest and the day i do i will take your advice and either cut right down or stop keeping altogether but i can see where you are coming from and it must seem that way to people.
The problem at the moment is so much seems to be going wrong or i feel it is in my mind (and what with a couple of other things that are going on within my family which i dont really want to go into on here) i just feel really inadequate, and helpless.
I must admit i dont spend all my time looking after or feeding my animals and do get free time to do other things but i think just the fact that so much has happened in such a short time has added to my dismay at this time.
Freekygeeky i can sympathise with you completely i followed frecks story from start to finish and was so upset for you when she passed and i know you can completely understand how i am feeling, I know life with reptiles is never easy but i think sometimes we tend to get a little too close to our scaly friends and really feel it when things go wrong.
Still i will see how things go over the next few weeks before i make a definate decision but i dont see hubby letting me give up as he said last night i love my pets too much to let them go and would only regret it if i did and that things will get better all the way round. I just hope he is right.


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## GRB (Jan 24, 2008)

sammy1969 said:


> Grb
> I dont see my pets as a chore to be honest and the day i do i will take your advice and either cut right down or stop keeping altogether but i can see where you are coming from and it must seem that way to people.
> The problem at the moment is so much seems to be going wrong or i feel it is in my mind (and what with a couple of other things that are going on within my family which i dont really want to go into on here) i just feel really inadequate, and helpless.
> I must admit i dont spend all my time looking after or feeding my animals and do get free time to do other things but i think just the fact that so much has happened in such a short time has added to my dismay at this time.
> ...


No worries, I wasnt having a go as such, mearly suggesting that sometime's pets can be stressful, and if its no longer fun, then perhaps it's not worth it. 

However, I somewhat disagree with the point that getting too attached is a bad thing - If anything, i'd say that you should become attached. 

Yes, its horrible when something goes wrong, but if you are not attached to the animal, how can you care about its wellbeing sufficiently? I myself take the loss of a pet really hard - its part of the trade off im afraid. I like to think that such a bond ensures that I will always put the animal first, and ensure its wellbeing. Anything less than that sort of commitment and I would not allow myself the responsibility of looking after an animal.


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## Moshpitviper (Oct 21, 2005)

Life (and this hobby) throw all these obstacles into your path to make it harder and to make you realise how lucky you are when its going well. trust me, when surrounded by sick animals i have contemplated selling up my collection and giving the rescues to someone else. but i persevere. and never regret it.

And people are right when they say to make the right decision for the animals.... but equally as important is to make sure the right decision is made for you. if all your sick animals died and you did all you could, you'll know you did your all to help. if they are sold or moved on then your feeling of loss is magnified because it was a conscious decision made by you.

Make the right decision for you, the animals are in the right place if your prepared to take on the mammoth task of getting them fit.


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## sammy1969 (Jul 21, 2007)

GRB
Sorry didnt mean to imply that it was a bad thing to become attached to our pets just that in certain cases i find i become very close to certain of my clan and alot moreso than i do the majority of them, even though i do love them all dearly, hence why i get so upset when things go wrong, I think it is one of my worse traits. I mean a case in point ihave two elderly rats both over four years of age that i have had for the same length of time and love them both but i know for a fact that when gracewing dies i will feel it alot more than when piglet dies even though i have never treated them any different its just the case that grace is such a character and is more interactive if you like with me. My brother has always said i am far too ott when it comes to loosing a pet and i suppose he is right to an extent but then if ever it became easy to live with the loss of a pet i think i would definately give up.


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## sammy1969 (Jul 21, 2007)

Dave
Thanx you are right this hobby does throw alot of things up at you when you least expect it and i think thats what i am dealing with now mind you after ten years you would think i would know that lol but still never seems to suprise me when stuff happens. 
I know i am going to take my time before i make a decision either way and well as i have said hubby is saying i would only regret giving all this up but i knowthat whatever i decide it will be for the good of the animals involved and not just whats good for me.
I must also say that i am glad of all the good wishes everyone has given me and also the sensible advice even if not put in the best of words lol it has given me a much needed wake up call and forced me to really think rather than make a snap choice.
So thanx to everyone on that one


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## Moshpitviper (Oct 21, 2005)

Well keep us all informed.


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## sammy1969 (Jul 21, 2007)

I will do dave dont worry just glad there are so many good people out there


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## GRB (Jan 24, 2008)

sammy1969 said:


> GRB
> Sorry didnt mean to imply that it was a bad thing to become attached to our pets just that in certain cases i find i become very close to certain of my clan and alot moreso than i do the majority of them, even though i do love them all dearly, hence why i get so upset when things go wrong, I think it is one of my worse traits. I mean a case in point ihave two elderly rats both over four years of age that i have had for the same length of time and love them both but i know for a fact that when gracewing dies i will feel it alot more than when piglet dies even though i have never treated them any different its just the case that grace is such a character and is more interactive if you like with me. My brother has always said i am far too ott when it comes to loosing a pet and i suppose he is right to an extent but then if ever it became easy to live with the loss of a pet i think i would definately give up.


 
Oh no, I didnt get that at all - I was mearly saying its probably a good thing you do take it hard, if that makes sense. Its horrible when these things happen, but it think i'd rather feel bad at the loss, than feel nothing at all. I have more respect for people who feel it rough than people who plainly don't give a toss when their pet dies. IMO, a person who takes loss badly shows more concern, and it looks more that the pet was a member of the family rather than "just" a pet. 

And just to say, hope you get over this bad patch soon - I only suggested toning down not to doubt your abilities, but to suggest a means of possible stress relief as such. 

-GRB


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## animalfreak (Jan 4, 2006)

were the 4 hatchlings you mentioned the ones from me as at the time you took them you only had 2 other hatchlings or did you take on others


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## rachel132002 (Dec 4, 2006)

I've thought of giving up once but that was because my heater in my shed went kaput one night and the air that is just warm decided to go overboard and make my shed 120degrees and i had 20 corns and 2 skinks dead which made me feel as bad as possible.

But you need to ask yourself:

1)what's your limit, space, money and emotion wise?

2)what do you want? free time? lots of spare cash? reptiles?

3)Can you honestly picture yourself from now on totally without reptiles?

We all have knocks, some worse than others and we all have different limits depending on what we can personally manage, i've had my fair share of illnesses, mites, non-feeders, deaths and it's never nice or fun but it's part and part of keeping animals really.

Quantity wise - well i guess it again depends on the individual i'm 19 with nearly 60snakes i'd say but all get fed, cleaned, watered etc and i've paid some ridiculous vets bills and all this is while being a full time uni student and working 30hrs a week so spare time is a bizarre concept but i guess the point is yes it's hard when it doesn't go to plan but would you feel better without having any at all? My guess is not, it's just learning to enjoy the good and deal with the bad - all we can do really.

Rach


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## SiUK (Feb 15, 2007)

gaz said:


> get a grip,where there's livestock,there's dead stock. Its a fact of being in this sort of game.
> regards gaz


harsh but very true, it goes with the territory im afraid, where any living thing is there is potential problems even with the very best care, my advice is dont do anything rash, you may well end up regretting it.


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## sammy1969 (Jul 21, 2007)

were the 4 hatchlings you mentioned the ones from me as at the time you took them you only had 2 other hatchlings or did you take on others from animalfreak



No had four others as well as yours that came from other people, how are the guineas doing lol?


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## sammy1969 (Jul 21, 2007)

GRB
Ahh i see we are on the same page lol yeah i am terrible when it comes to loosing my pets and yeah you are right i think it does show that you really care if oyu have a reaction to a death andi think we are both the same as i dotn see mine as pets as such they are my babies hence why i get so upset at things going wrong


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## sammy1969 (Jul 21, 2007)

Rachel, do you ever get time to sleep lol, i would love half of your energy, but seriously i can only imagine how gutted i would feel if the same thign had happened to me. 
As i have said i am not going to rush into a discision but am having serious conversations with hubby about how things feel right now and he has pointed out that although we have a few problems right now we have also accomplished alot in the past year or so including getting married.
He has also pointed out just how much i worry about the pets we have and how horrible i would feel if i gave them away just because things are not going well right now i would be terrible to live with and would regret it the second they were gone, but i am still not sure,even though i now he is right,so still have things to think about.


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## animalfreak (Jan 4, 2006)

the guinea pigs are great they love being handled and they get on really well with the other 1 we had they like the garden when the weather is permitting. they are not to keen on dried food but as they have a mixture of fresh each day thats not a problem

what hppened with the 4 non feeders you took on from me ,
we still have 1 that is now an assist feed so getting there slowly


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## sammy1969 (Jul 21, 2007)

Unfortunately i found it hard to cope with them and so ended up giving to my brother who had more experience with non feeders and as i had lost the others i was very disheartened and felt i wasnt giving them the right conditions


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## helenaz0 (Jan 20, 2008)

Hope you start to feel better soon sammy like you said if you didnt feel anything when you lose a pet then maybe you shouldnt have them.

All the best hun


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## sammy1969 (Jul 21, 2007)

*Up date for this thread*

Ok as you know i have seriously been thinking of giving up and well firstly i would like to thank everyone for their help and support on this matter you have all bee great.
YOu will be glad to know that for the time being i am going to carry on i still have alot going on here but after sitting down and thinking about it all very carefully and weighing up all my options i realised that without my reptiles i am nothing. They are such a large part of my life and giv eme so much joy and happiness i would only end up hurting myself even more if i found them new homes and that is not what i want to do.
I think with everything else that is going on right now if i didnt have my reptiles i would go completely insane as i would have more time to think about the other things.
Hubby is helping out a smuch as he can and hopefully by the end of March everything that is going on in my personal life will be sorted one way or another and i wont be feeling so lost and alone, so just have to make it till then.
Thanx again everyone 
Sam


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## ANT (Nov 11, 2007)

thats great news!


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