# Convincing the parents -.-



## Wilsons102 (Jul 18, 2008)

I thought this might be an interesting topic for some of the younger members or generaly people who live with parents or room mates etc etc that are not particulary interested in reptiles and the like :lol2:
Anyway anyone have any stories or advice to give on convincing a parent lol 

I myself live with my mother and her partner, im 18 and have loved exotic animals since i was a toddler but have never been able to own one because of my mothers disaproval  and it is her house.... 
Since im now legally an adult :2thumb: i thought id give it another bash however she is proving difficult to convince i dont even get any reasons i just get NO ... 

Any advice ? =\

(specifically i am interested in snakes)

And no i cant move out :lol2:


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## Meko (Apr 29, 2007)

Most peoples advice will be the same, sneak one in and keep it in a tub under your bed so she'll never know.

Being an adult doesn't change anything though mate, even if you moved out you could find yourself renting somewhere that doesn't allow them.


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## SNAKEWISPERA (Aug 27, 2007)

Im 15 and have 20 snakes.... And my mum hates them:whistling2:


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## SiUK (Feb 15, 2007)

I was never allowed any snakes or inverts when I was younger but I blagged them for one tarantula and that opened the flood gates :lol2:


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## Chazybabe (Jul 14, 2008)

Im also 18 and was aloud no pets when i was little was aloud my 1st rabbit when i was 7 and was not aloud nothing else along came the cat the loads more rabbits and breeding mice and rats and dog and snake an waiting to get my 1st bearded dragon..

I now have 1 house rabbit 9 mice plus 11 baby ones that i breed..my corn an soon to beardy in my bedroom i think if you can keep them in your room and say that they wont even no/never in their way ect it helps.. alsohave cat dog and a rabbit in shed..

I just talked them to death that they did it to shut me up!!

Good luck! Were on your side =P :lol2:


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## Wilsons102 (Jul 18, 2008)

Haha i was thinking the same i was gonna just order the gear online and have it delivered when there at work and im off then sneak one home :whistling2:

I suppose even if they then came across it i dont see what they can do when its in the house lol


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## Reptilover (Jan 15, 2007)

Bah, just sneak one in, or just keep trying to persuad them! my first rep was a beardie and i only got tht cos my mum loves them! Howeever my mum collects loads of tattie teddy's so everytime i ask her wether i can
have a new lizard she says "you already have enough lizards". Then i njust say why do you keep wanting more tatty teddy's? youve got enough teddys!

:lol2:


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## Meko (Apr 29, 2007)

if you do sneak one in, write CAUTION DANGEROUS ANIMAL on the box and leave a pair of thick gloves near it BUT you have to handle mice with the gloves on.
This way your mum will think that its dangerous and the gloves are to handle it. She'll make her fella put the gloves on and get the snake but as the gloves smell of mice the snake will start striking at him and he'll bottle it and leave it alone.


Or... tell them that you're going to show them you're responsible enough to own a snake by looking after a worm first. Then buy a baby hoggie, they won't realise they've been kippered for a while.


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## Wilsons102 (Jul 18, 2008)

Haha i love that idea 
Ive been seeking revenge on my mums boyfriends for a while ...:whistling2:

He's a twat though he migh hurt poor fluffy 

LOL yea.... thats what i fanncy calling it Fluffy how original :lol2:


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## Athravan (Dec 28, 2006)

I was just a kid when I got my first, not even a teenager yet. So I could not buy one, because a) I didn't have any money, and b) the guy at the shop wouldn't have sold me one.

So.... what the conversation went like was

"Mum, can I have a snake?"
"A snake?! no!! Definitely not!!"
"Please?"
"No!!"
"What about now?"
"No!!"

4 hours later...

"Can I have a snake now?"
"Oh for gods sake yes if it'll shut you up"
"Cool!! They eat mice by the way"
"What?!?!?!?!"
"Too late you said ok now".

And the next day I had my first corn snake :whistling2:

Yes, I was one of those extremely annoying children who just nag nag nag nag nag nag until the parent gives in, and my mother, always gave in.


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## luke123 (Apr 13, 2008)

from whe i was 7 til i was 10, i always asked for a lizard, i stop asking and my dad bloody buys me one when ide lost interest!! (i have every interest in them now though before anyone says anything)


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## chimpy666 (Jan 2, 2007)

I am planning to buy a retic hatchling on a 6 month plan to move out of the house before it hits full length


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## kaimarion (Dec 31, 2007)

Yeh my parents were the same ,they wouldn't let me get a turtle but they were easily persuaded ,then it was the BD which was hard. And trying to get the 2nd BD too months. My family love my BD's but not the turtle or the leo......almost forgot to mention my leo ,I had to sneak her in and it took my dad a month to find out I had her even though she wasn't exactly hidden :lol2:.
My parents also complained about not having enough space in the house so I bought a big shed to keep them in......am gonna have to build worktops and shelves though.


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## Wilsons102 (Jul 18, 2008)

Lol thanks for all the replies guys and galls i actualy got her to say more than no this time lol 
her excuse was its not the fact its a snake i just dont want people brining more pets into the house =\ i blame my step sister for that attitude she has a Cat here and never looks after it and my mum ends up having to care for it so.... i guess i cant blame her that much


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## Meko (Apr 29, 2007)

I hoped you thanked her for telling you, a kiss always helps as well.. 

Gets them thinking a bit more if you don't have a strop


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## ishotthesherifswife (Jun 10, 2008)

im in need of these thread.
for years me and my brother pastered my dad for a dog (since i was 6), and nagged him no-stop. he'is stil holding out (im now 15)
i also want a snake as well as a dog now. i reckon i might just get 1 with out parents knowing. ive just been into town (a rural town, so is not much to expect) and the pet shop has snakes and beardies after about 6 years!!! i think its a sign, lol


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## Salamanda (May 28, 2008)

took me two years of nagging to get my cat my parents r not easily convinced

only got my tortoise's because my dads friends promised to give us his but never ended up giving us it so we went and bought two of our own :lol2:
im 18 and it never get any easier


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## Chazybabe (Jul 14, 2008)

Athravan said:


> I was just a kid when I got my first, not even a teenager yet. So I could not buy one, because a) I didn't have any money, and b) the guy at the shop wouldn't have sold me one.
> 
> So.... what the conversation went like was
> 
> ...


Ditto, i find this stratagie works a treat!...im now fighting my mum for the useage rights of the spare room and so far shes having none of it.. give her time..it will be full! =P


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## Llizardx (Jul 4, 2008)

*Snake*

Hi,
Im 11 & I perswaded my mum to let me get a royal python. She hated the rats they eat, so I said its natural, & you eat meat.
Jonny


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## Wilsons102 (Jul 18, 2008)

Haha looks like i started a good thread :lol2:

Even though my mums excuse is a bit valid shes basicaly fed up caring for other peoples pets when she gave into them ie my step sis grr lol 
Im just going to get some gear together for a little baby corn and sneak him home and just keep him outta sight n hopefully when she comes across it (she inevitably will) she will realise she didnt have to do anything and may warm up to it lol


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## Eightleggedfreak (Apr 2, 2007)

Bite the bullet and get whatever you fancy , if they find it say youve had it a year or more ?? that may just sway them into thinking that if youve had it that long without them noticing , what harm will it do??:2thumb:
Good luck


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## Meko (Apr 29, 2007)

Wilsons102 said:


> Haha looks like i started a good thread :lol2:
> 
> Even though my mums excuse is a bit valid shes basicaly fed up caring for other peoples pets when she gave into them ie my step sis grr lol
> Im just going to get some gear together for a little baby corn and sneak him home and just keep him outta sight n hopefully when she comes across it (she inevitably will) she will realise she didnt have to do anything and may warm up to it lol


 
well, when you think about it she is right.
Your step sister got a cat, you all live in the house as a family but its your mum who has to look after the cat. So, out of everybody in the house its her that deals with the cat / other pets. If you start to help with the other pets in the house she might see you as a responsible pet owner who'll look after a snake.


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## Wilsons102 (Jul 18, 2008)

Meko said:


> well, when you think about it she is right.
> Your step sister got a cat, you all live in the house as a family but its your mum who has to look after the cat. So, out of everybody in the house its her that deals with the cat / other pets. If you start to help with the other pets in the house she might see you as a responsible pet owner who'll look after a snake.


I do look after the cat i feed it whenever my sis isnt in and play with it/sit with it etc i also have to look after it when they go to prague in august.
Its a young cat and a real attention seeker my sis should have thought that through lol 
Ive also tried to let her see what sort of care is involved with a snake for example online etc but she wont even hear that part out =\.
Ive had pets in the past just not reptiles was never allowed..
I had Tropical fish a hamster and a dog.
The dog lived for almost as long as me it was 16 years old when it had to get put down  My fish lived about the time most fish do except i had one goldfish that lived 8 years quite chuffed about that haha then my hamster died of old age =\ 

So im not really irrisponsable or anything like that all the pets i had lived long lives some more than they should and i miss having a pet thats why im trying again for a snake :lol2:


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## Opheodrys (Feb 5, 2007)

You should tell her that at 18 you're an adult and why shouldn't you be a responsible keeper? And also, that if you don't care for it you'll get rid of it, so she'll realise that she wont have to do anything.
You could also try showing her pictures of particularly gorgeous looking snakes and she might want you to get one then. My mum's always saying "Wow! That snake's nice, why don't you get one of those!" then she can look at it all the time then lol
Good luck


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## SpiderGirl33 (Sep 2, 2007)

:lol2: Your right sis! 
Our mum looks through the snake books now and shouts 'Oh get that one, get that one!!' 
When opheodrys tells her it's bite is deadly and it's extremely vicious she says, 'Ohhh :sad: Mind you, you won't be handling it anyway!' 
:lol2:

Best thing to do is convince her they hardly need any care or attention, that she'll never even notice its existance and make her a cooked breakfast in bed every day until she says yes.

Or just sneak one in!


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## Wilsons102 (Jul 18, 2008)

Yea she wouldnt really do that haha shes not scared of them as such cause i asked her that but she dosnt like them lol my dads open to helping me he loves exotic animals however he lives away from us now and keeping one at his house would mean i only got to see it once a week and it would just make my dad responsible for it  
Then again i myself was a bit uneasy with snakes when i was younger but as soon as my dad took me to an exotic animal place on holiday and got to handle a corn snake and see a few others up close totaly changed my opinion lol now im like this > :flrt:


Mabey i can do the same to her never know ... :lol2:


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## Opheodrys (Feb 5, 2007)

Oh yeah, you should take her to a pet shop and let her see/handle some of the pretty snakes!  
Just be really really nice to her (make dinner, buy nice chocolate when out, do loads of chores etc) and talk about them ALL the time, literally every little thing you know about snakes!
AND be extra nice to her partner/bf


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## Wilsons102 (Jul 18, 2008)

That would be a bit of a problem aswell .... the only reptile dealers i really know about is one in dunfermline and one in East Kilbride. One is quite a drive away and the other is a good bit away aswell so convincing her to travel aswell might just make it worse :lol2:

Unless any local breeders would allow us to see them :whistling2:

*Cough* Toyah


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## toyah (Aug 24, 2006)

You know you're welcome to bring your family over here to see the corns, but she has to be convinced before I'd let you buy one. I'm not having my babies become homeless if you sneak one in and she then demands you get rid of it! :lol2:


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## lycanlord20 (Jul 11, 2008)

i never had this problem because my dad was a snake keeper, however whenever i wanted a pet, i had to go to my dad and basically do a presentaion to show him how much i had learned about them, he basically wanted me to know everything and show that i can do this myself without his help, i got my first at 8 or 9ish and got a job to pay for its food etc, and after that i was just allowed aslong as i could show him i knew what to do. maybe if you can get your mum to sit down you can show her what it was, what it eats, assure her it cant escape, wont do anydamage,wont smell, an will be paid for and cared for entirely by you. just give her all th info you know about the species you want.


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## Wilsons102 (Jul 18, 2008)

Haha at least u care :flrt:

If that actualy did happen i would probably just move in with my dad :whistling2:
He's offered i just can never be bothered lol
Did you say there were more corns on the way from you toyah ? I saw the ones for sale on your site but i cant remember if you said that or not ? lol


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## MrEd (Jul 12, 2008)

Im to old for my parents to be bothered, its the GF i had to convince, the only thing she doesnt like is the mealies, i just hide them in the cupboard, she wont let me put them in the fridge lol 

it was funny she was originally a bit aprehensive and now she loves the gecko lol


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## ratboy (Jan 10, 2007)

It is, in my opinion, totally wrong to try and 'convince' parents to allow you an animal in the house that they are not comfortable with. It is even worse to sneak one in and hope they will let you keep it once they find out because the chances are, they won't.

Speaking as a parent, if one of my kids tried the sneaking it in approach the animal would be out of the door with them carrying it and their bags as if they are old enough to completely go against what I have said is allowed in my house, they are old enough to stand on their own two feet.

I very much doubt the trying to convince me part would work either, since if I had said no in the first place there would have been a very good reason for that and unless that reason had been removed somehow, I would not take kindly to being pestered about it.


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## SpiderGirl33 (Sep 2, 2007)

But Ratboy, how else are you supposed to get exotic animals if your a kid if it's wrong to convince them?
Take my parents, didn't have a clue about exotics, how to care for them, what they eat, the amount of time you need to care for them. 
With most parents, you mention the word snake and they screech, ring all they're friends to tell them 'Help, my kids gone mad!'
For me, convince isn't nag or pester, it's telling them simply about the animal and the sort of care they need, showing them your responsible enough to keep it and not get bored of it in 2 weeks.

If I hadn't convinced my dad that tarantulas aren't evil and deadly, but they're actually nice creatures that mean no harm, and that I have a real interest in them, I wouldn't have any!!!! 

If you really want something, try your best to get it!! 
: victory:


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## SNAKEWISPERA (Aug 27, 2007)

ratboy said:


> It is, in my opinion, totally wrong to try and 'convince' parents to allow you an animal in the house that they are not comfortable with. It is even worse to sneak one in and hope they will let you keep it once they find out because the chances are, they won't.
> 
> Speaking as a parent, if one of my kids tried the sneaking it in approach the animal would be out of the door with them carrying it and their bags as if they are old enough to completely go against what I have said is allowed in my house, they are old enough to stand on their own two feet.
> 
> I very much doubt the trying to convince me part would work either, since if I had said no in the first place there would have been a very good reason for that and unless that reason had been removed somehow, I would not take kindly to being pestered about it.


Very true Steve, Its a shame I have reptile loving parents aye:Na_Na_Na_Na:


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## Wilsons102 (Jul 18, 2008)

I have to agree with spidergirl33 if you ask parents once there just going to say no and then if you leave it its not going to change and your left missing out on somthing you want to experience ....AGAIN lol i may have solved my problem .. my father loves exotics and is offering to house it in his home until my mother either warms up to it or i end up keeping it there but he's as excited as me now :lol2:


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## SpiderGirl33 (Sep 2, 2007)

Oooh yay! That way, if you need to go on holiday or something you can get him to look after it for you! :lol2:


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## ratboy (Jan 10, 2007)

SpiderGirl33 said:


> But Ratboy, how else are you supposed to get exotic animals if your a kid if it's wrong to convince them?


Many people, I would go so far as to say the majority of people have serious phobias about animals like snakes, lizards, spiders, etc etc. I don't... I am lucky enough to not have any phobias that I know of and obviously I love snakes as I have a fairly large collection of them.

My daughter loved them too for a while. I bought her a hatchling corn snake 6 years ago when she was 9 and she had done her research, read up on them, knew what they ate and how often they ate and what temperatures to keep him at and everything was fine.

Then she got older and at around 12 years of age she basically got bored of him... unless her mates were round to show him off to. 

Who had to clean him out ? me. Who had to feed him ? me. Who had to get him back "in shape" because he was pretty fat ? me. Who changed his water every day ? me. Who paid for his electricity, food and new vivariums ? me.

I ( note the I and not she ) still have Bradley the corn snake. He is in my snake shed that I house my other adult snakes in which was built last year. About 3 weeks ago, my daughter actually noticed that he was not in the house anymore.

Now just imagine what would have happened to that poor animal if I had a serious phobia about snakes and was unable to go near it.


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## carpy (Nov 13, 2007)

SiUK said:


> I was never allowed any snakes or inverts when I was younger but I blagged them for one tarantula and that opened the flood gates :lol2:


similar situation with me. wanted snakes since i can remember. they refused, until a few years ago they let me get one. the floodgates opened, and i now have around 20 snakes, some eggs and i think a gravid female boa so more on the way.


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## SpiderGirl33 (Sep 2, 2007)

yeah, but isn't Wilsons102 an adult now? 
And if kids are really serious about something they won't go off it, I got interested in spiders when I was about 11, saved up for one when I was 12 and still keep them now! 
And my sister was about 11 or something when she got her first snake, and she paid for all it's vet bills etc. 

I think it's up to the kid to show how much they want it, tell the parents what they know about it etc, then the parents go off and do some research and choose wether their kid will still be as enthusiastic when they're older. 
Every kid is different, your daughter might've got bored of it...but that doesn't mean that all kids will. 
: victory:


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## ratboy (Jan 10, 2007)

SpiderGirl33 said:


> Every kid is different, your daughter might've got bored of it...but that doesn't mean that all kids will.
> : victory:


As with everything... I can only speak from my own experience


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## Ssthisto (Aug 31, 2006)

SpiderGirl33 said:


> But Ratboy, how else are you supposed to get exotic animals if your a kid if it's wrong to convince them?


You're supposed to learn that you don't always get what you want when you want it - sometimes you have to wait until you're out on your own and can keep what you like.

It's not wrong to ASK to have something - and it's not wrong to explain the care/etc... but if they say no, it's their house and that's it. Don't pester, don't "convince" and don't sneak something in either.

I would have liked to have had a gecko when I was finishing high school and starting university, but my mum and uncle said no. And I accepted that because it was their house and their rules. Now I have my own house and *I* make the rules... so my rule is "if you don't like reptiles that's fine. You don't have to come to or stay in my house."

If my partner asked "could I have a very aggressive, large, venomous centipede?" I would ask him how he intended to contain it, whether he intended to be its sole carer and where exactly he wanted to put it... I wouldn't say no outright (even though they creep me right out) but I'd want to know that I wouldn't have to be involved with an animal that I am outright frightened of. If he couldn't give me answers to the questions that made me feel less frightened, I would not be happy with having a centipede in the house.


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## ratboy (Jan 10, 2007)

Ssthisto said:


> You're supposed to learn that you don't always get what you want when you want it - sometimes you have to wait until you're out on your own and can keep what you like.
> 
> It's not wrong to ASK to have something - and it's not wrong to explain the care/etc... but if they say no, it's their house and that's it. Don't pester, don't "convince" and don't sneak something in either.
> 
> ...


Agree 1000%.

I am very fortunate to have a wife that although she hates snakes, she does appreciate their beauty and as long as she does not come into contact with them she is quite happy for me to have them.

If it were the case that she could not bear to be in the same room as the snakes or they made her freeze at the sight of them or break out in cold sweats .... I would not dream of having any snakes. The collection would never have started.

My youngest daughter wants a dog. But as my wife is allergic to them and my son is scared of them.... she can wait until she moves out.


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## SpiderGirl33 (Sep 2, 2007)

I understand what your saying Ssthisto.
I also understand that when my parents say no, they mean no. 
I don't mean 'convince' in a sneaky way, I meant it as instead of nagging, giving them the information, showing that I know lot's about the animal I want and that I can care for it. 
But if my parents had a phobia of tarantulas or scorpions, I would try to help them understand more about the animal to help them get over their fears, but not ask to keep one.
It depends what sort of parents you've got, I know my parents would say no because they don't want the stress of ending up looking after it themselves.
So I proved them I was capable of looking after it, and I was serious about keeping them, that it wasn't a silly fase I was going through, I was actually serious about keeping one. 

I'm not sure if I was the same as other kids though :? I didn't bother with a lot of other kids so I never really nagged for anything or pestered them.


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## Opheodrys (Feb 5, 2007)

If the main reason the parents are saying no is because they don't think you'd look after it, then why not show/prove to them that you can. That's not nagging or pestering them if they're not busy at the time of course.


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