# Being childish?



## Morgan Freeman (Jan 14, 2009)

So I set up a tank for my mum, gave her my spare filters, heaters and let her use my dechlorinator, testing kits etc etc.

I go round to test the water for her and ammonia is at 0. Turns out she's been topping up the tank with straight tap water. I literally spent 20 minutes explaining cycling and how chlorine will kill bacteria last week. 

So anyway I took all my test kits back and told her she's on her own. Why bother?


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## NickBenger (Nov 18, 2010)

Family never listen to family, it's extremely frustrating I know how you feel...


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## Moogloo (Mar 15, 2010)

Well.. i'm sure leaving her to her own devises is going to help...

Maybe she didnt fully understand, it wont have hurt much, just means cycle might take a little longer....

Hardly worth having a tantrum over, stamping your foot and storming out...


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## Kae (Aug 28, 2011)

In reality "topping up" with tap water is going to make little difference to the bacteria in the water column or filter media. 

Doing a couple of 50% water changes however would.

Sounds like you're being very childish to be honest.


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## Marinam2 (Sep 4, 2007)

I understand your frustration.....i've just done the very same thing for my sister i got her everything and then cycled it at my place for two weeks without her knowing and then took it over to her place and set it all up again.

And after banging on about getting a tank for ages she showed such little enthusiasm i could have bashed her over the head!!!!


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## Christie_ZXR (May 14, 2011)

Lol! I know this feeling...my dad is great with everything about fish, except water changes. 
I found a good lecture on how they'll die a horrible and painful death from the pollution in the water, which will burn their gills and suffocate them, if he doesn't do them seemed to do the trick. I may have exaggerated slightly about that y'know...but he did a water change, so what the heck!


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## Morgan Freeman (Jan 14, 2009)

Moogloo said:


> Well.. i'm sure leaving her to her own devises is going to help...
> 
> Maybe she didnt fully understand, it wont have hurt much, just means cycle might take a little longer....
> 
> Hardly worth having a tantrum over, stamping your foot and storming out...


You don't know my mum :lol2:

I tried to explain a second time but she still isn't listening, she just plain doesn't want to learn. What, exactly, am I getting from this arrangement!? I can't imagine what it's like working in an aquatics shop!


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## Morgan Freeman (Jan 14, 2009)

Kae said:


> In reality "topping up" with tap water is going to make little difference to the bacteria in the water column or filter media.
> 
> Doing a couple of 50% water changes however would.
> 
> Sounds like you're being very childish to be honest.



Which would be complete rubbish as the ammonia was back down to 0 after being off the chart's the night before, when I took ten minutes explaining how to use a test kit.


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## cloggers (Mar 13, 2010)

Family never listen, I refuse to advise on animals unless they can behave like adults. Which unfortunately is rare in my family :bash:


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## Morgan Freeman (Jan 14, 2009)

I'm making her a print out to follow :devil:


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## rum&coke (Apr 19, 2009)

TBH I don't think a fish tank is worth falling out with family over, help as much as you can but remember your not responsible for what other people do.


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## Morgan Freeman (Jan 14, 2009)

rum&coke said:


> TBH I don't think a fish tank is worth falling out with family over, help as much as you can but remember your not responsible for what other people do.


I haven't fallen out with anyone.


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## rum&coke (Apr 19, 2009)

Morgan Freeman said:


> I haven't fallen out with anyone.


Thats good then,so whats the problem?


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## Morgan Freeman (Jan 14, 2009)

rum&coke said:


> Thats good then,so whats the problem?


I love too much.


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## Morgan Freeman (Jan 14, 2009)

So she's been adding ammonia to cycle the tank but instead of buying dechlorinator she's bought ammonia remover. She has been adding ammonia remover to the ammonia she's been adding to the tank. 

I can't take this woman.


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## Viva (Apr 19, 2010)

My grandad used to say, 'There is a right way of doing things, the wrong way of doing things and my mother's way of doing things'.


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## NickBenger (Nov 18, 2010)

morgan freeman said:


> so she's been adding ammonia to cycle the tank but instead of buying dechlorinator she's bought ammonia remover. She has been adding ammonia remover to the ammonia she's been adding to the tank.
> 
> I can't take this woman.


lmao..


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## rum&coke (Apr 19, 2009)

Morgan Freeman said:


> So she's been adding ammonia to cycle the tank but instead of buying dechlorinator she's bought ammonia remover. She has been adding ammonia remover to the ammonia she's been adding to the tank.
> 
> I can't take this woman.


oh dear, I have always seen this as the only downside of the fishless cycle, if you do it wrong you do more harm than good so it defeats the object of being fishless to avoid harming fish, and given that there are a huge number of people like your mum I would bet the fishless cycle has killed more fish than cycling with a single fish ever did.


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## Viva (Apr 19, 2010)

I know loads and loads of people who don't even know what the nitrogen cycle is, I didn't get that far in biology at school and only knew when I thought about getting fish.


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## goldie1212 (Mar 5, 2010)

we have had the same kind of issues with my mother in law. she kept mentioning how she liked my tank etc, would love a small tropical tank with some small fish. so one christmas we said what we would do, explained we would buy and set-up, cycle and establish a small tank for her. she was really excited, we did it all, and over and over again went over the bacteria,cycle,water changes, everything. well, shes been doing ok with it, but she does weekly 100% water changes and removed all of the thriving live plants, and boils her gravel :gasp: she said it helps with the green water problems shes recently developed. i dont know, she does keep her filter running in a bucket of tank water with the fish, so the bacteria in the filter media is kept alive and the new water is temp matched and dechlorinated but its got to be stressful on the fish. we have now given up telling her that although shes not really doing anything wrong, shes doing things that really arent neccessary. her fish are doing ok though, she has lost a couple of her smaller tetras but they lasted a long while. families can be such hard work :lol2:


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## Marinam2 (Sep 4, 2007)

Shes getting green algea because of the 100% water changes. There are too many nurtients in tap water treated or not this will be the root of her problems.


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## DPK (Aug 21, 2011)

First things first....

She is your mum, she brought you into this world, clothed you, fed you, put a roof over your head, and you simply repay her back by slandering her on here. And dont come back with "how am i", maybe you should show her this thread, and let her defend her corner.

Second thing.....

Family is family, your slandering them making them out to be dumb....

I can assure you they are better at some things than you are... Your dumb for thinking you can be the best at everything

Some of you here need to sort your priorities out, OP, she is your mum, your very disrespectful of her, grow up, and respect the women who brought you up


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## Morgan Freeman (Jan 14, 2009)

DPK said:


> First things first....
> 
> She is your mum, she brought you into this world, clothed you, fed you, put a roof over your head, and you simply repay her back by slandering her on here. And dont come back with "how am i", maybe you should show her this thread, and let her defend her corner.
> 
> ...



Bahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

You do not respect someone for bringing you into this world, you respect people because they deserve respect. When they do something to lose it, they lose it.

There is no them, there is one person.

You don't know what slander is.

Don't tell me what to do you presumptuous little sod. I gave her a chance to defend herself her response was "fish are only cheap I'll replace them when they die".

I made this thread because I'm exasperated, it's an "oh parents what are they like lol" thread not an "I hate my mum she's a bitch rofl" thread.


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## DPK (Aug 21, 2011)

Morgan Freeman said:


> Bahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
> 
> You do not respect someone for bringing you into this world, you respect people because they deserve respect. When they do something to lose it, they lose it.
> 
> ...


 
Your mum i feel so sorry for here, your making it up as you go, your adding it up to make your mum out to be twisted. And yes i am very aware of what slander is, you have no idea by looks of it, slander comes in many forms, somthing you seem to be unaware of.

Carry on adding BS to this, "my mum said this, she said that", but she doesnt deserve that, and to say your mum doesnt deserve respect for what she has done, is sick and twisted.

But hey, you seem the type of person who would respect a drug dealer, because "he does somthing so good", were as your mum, na, she doesnt deserve your respect, because all she did was bring you into this world, fed you, clothed you, brought you up, put a roof over your head, defended you, hid you from world violence, protected you, but no she is just a "bitch" isnt she, good one

And then you say more BS about your mum, i would like her to come forward and justify this, i want your mum to come forward and admit all of this, but she wont will she... BECAUSE SHE NOES NOTHING ABOUT THIS, because your hiding this from her.... 

You make me sick to actually laugh at the idea of respecting your mum, what has she done so bad, that gives you the right to do this ?, you need to stop being a little girls blouse, and until you can get your mum to come forward and say "yes all this is true", i will simply say you are talking aload of BS, because you seem to be adding on this story all the time, to make your mum look bad, and youll keep adding to it, grow a pair, show abit of respect, i am not a sod, or anything alike, and yes, slander is somthing that seems to be happening here, do you have the right to talk and slander your mum this way on here ?, does she know about it ?, im betting the answer is no.

lol no them, wow i can see you took the time to read, if i was aiming straight at you, i would have qouted you, its nice to see how well your brain functions, maybe read a little more, you might learn somthing


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## Viva (Apr 19, 2010)

:lol2:


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## ServantOMallard (Nov 18, 2010)

Epic!


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## JayX (Sep 3, 2011)

Have to agree with DPK here. Why are you here slating your mum in private when no one wants to hear it and then being rude to the people who tell you your wrong. You need to grow up...


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## Morgan Freeman (Jan 14, 2009)

DPK said:


> Your mum i feel so sorry for here, your making it up as you go, your adding it up to make your mum out to be twisted. And yes i am very aware of what slander is, you have no idea by looks of it, slander comes in many forms, somthing you seem to be unaware of.
> 
> Carry on adding BS to this, "my mum said this, she said that", but she doesnt deserve that, and to say your mum doesnt deserve respect for what she has done, is sick and twisted.
> 
> ...


You're a proper weird person. How on earth do you extrapolate all this from a simple thread about being frustrated? :lol2:

I don't need to make my mum look bad :lol2: It's just a funny story about dealing with annoying parents. I have no desire to justify my behaviour or my relationship with my family. You've massively overstepped the mark here.

Oh and slander is a legal term and is required to be proven false, obviously you're completely aware of what is true and what isn't. Must be my massively impaired moral compass, designed to vilify my mum for not buying me hungry hungry hippos or something.

I haven't said she doesn't reserve respect, I said a person doesn't deserve respect for simply giving birth, was that too nuanced for you?

If you have anything else to say you can PM me, you're way out of line.


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## Morgan Freeman (Jan 14, 2009)

JayX said:


> Have to agree with DPK here. Why are you here slating your mum in private when no one wants to hear it and then being rude to the people who tell you your wrong. You need to grow up...


Rude?



> Your dumb for thinking you can be the best at everything





> But hey, you seem the type of person who would respect a drug dealer, because "he does somthing so good





> but no she is just a "bitch" isnt she, good on





> ou make me sick to actually laugh at the idea of respecting your mum





> you seem to be adding on this story all the time, to make your mum look bad



Making presumptions about my intentions and opinions on my mother goes beyond rude and into massively personal.


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## Morgan Freeman (Jan 14, 2009)

goldie1212 said:


> we have had the same kind of issues with my mother in law. she kept mentioning how she liked my tank etc, would love a small tropical tank with some small fish. so one christmas we said what we would do, explained we would buy and set-up, cycle and establish a small tank for her. she was really excited, we did it all, and over and over again went over the bacteria,cycle,water changes, everything. well, shes been doing ok with it, but she does weekly 100% water changes and removed all of the thriving live plants, and boils her gravel :gasp: she said it helps with the green water problems shes recently developed. i dont know, she does keep her filter running in a bucket of tank water with the fish, so the bacteria in the filter media is kept alive and the new water is temp matched and dechlorinated but its got to be stressful on the fish. we have now given up telling her that although shes not really doing anything wrong, shes doing things that really arent neccessary. her fish are doing ok though, she has lost a couple of her smaller tetras but they lasted a long while. families can be such hard work :lol2:


You disgust me! YOU ARE A DISGRACE! THAT WOMAN TOOK YOU ON HAS HER OWN AND YOU USE LIBELOUS SLANDER WHERE SHE CAN'T DEFEND HERSELF?

Yeah, keep adding to the BS your (sic) already making up!!!!!!!11111

Obviously your (sic) so smart and everyone else is an idiot, including the mother in law you DESPISE so much. I bet you thing rapists are good don't you??

Go on, deny it. You can't, because I know everything just from reading one internet post.


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## Morgan Freeman (Jan 14, 2009)

ServantOMallard said:


> Epic!


Don't call your dad king where he can't defend himself. I know that's what you meant.


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## JayX (Sep 3, 2011)

can i also just add that i think that your hilarious?
yeah that too..


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## retrophile (Jul 3, 2011)

Morgan Freeman said:


> Don't call your dad an arsehole where he can't defend himself. I know that's what you meant.


Love it!

I think this thread needs to be taken more with a pinch of salt rather than people (especially JayX) saying the guy is slagging his mum.

He's not acting like a teenage brat, but simply having a vent on an open forum. At no point did he say anything nasty about her. Just that he was frustrated. 

Then y'all come down here with yer own bakery contest and start giving the guy a hard time. Who's the 'domicillary maid' now?

*Queue wooden spoon stirring movement*


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## Morgan Freeman (Jan 14, 2009)

I just want people to be aware that I don't think my mum is the spawn of satan, just an incredibly annoying woman at times. I'm sure I can be the same :lol2:


And because I hate her so much, I just sent her a long checklist for her to pin up next to the tank. That's along with the two filters, heater, tank with self made background, arcadia clip on light, substrate, fertilisers, plant cuttings and API test kit I gave to her.


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## GRB (Jan 24, 2008)

...


a) Stop swearing everyone. If I have to edit any more then I'll do so from the angry dome and there'll be infractions with them.

b) Chillax. 

c) Perhaps she would cope better with a more natural, tapwater aquarium like Diana Walstead utilises:

Ecology of the Planted Aquarium: Amazon.co.uk: Diana Walstad: Books

I know it's about plants but the stuff in there actually works. I've tried it. I've even tried it on a 'nano' scale without fish and the water stays crystal clear for several years. There's also a bit about simply using tapwater without adding any crap to it, since the plants and humic substances remove metals from the water, etc.


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## Christie_ZXR (May 14, 2011)

Just too funny!! :lol2: :lol2:


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## Morgan Freeman (Jan 14, 2009)

I've considered setting up a walsted tank myself, but to be honest it requires careful monitoring and an understanding of how everything interacts within the aquarium. It may seem simpler as there's less equipment, but I don't think it should be considered an easy way to keep fish.


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## ServantOMallard (Nov 18, 2010)

Morgan Freeman said:


> Must be my massively impaired moral compass, designed to vilify my mum for not buying me hungry hungry hippos or something.


To be fair, not buying hungry hippos qualifies as child abuse


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## Gt Turbo (Feb 9, 2011)

This thread is too hilarious. :lol2::lol2:


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## Viva (Apr 19, 2010)

I think on a serious note and this has nothing to do with fish, as they are all infanticides anyway, that it is actually healthier to express frustration and annoyance and make a joke about than holding it all in and it festering. I agree that we should respect our parents, but it doesn't mean we are not allowed to have an opinion about their behaviour, as they are human after all as well. Also, I don't think parents should expect to be respected at all costs, as quite frankly, some don't deserve it and why should children have to grow up respecting bad behaviour. This world isn't black and white and if you can't learn to deal with frustrations and let off some steam some how, well, that's how world wars start. Plus you can't put your rules onto other people, as within reason and common decency, everyone has a right to say how they feel.


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## Bradders100 (Feb 3, 2008)

Dreadful sometiems x_x



Morgan Freeman said:


> You don't know my mum :lol2:
> 
> I tried to explain a second time but she still isn't listening, she just plain doesn't want to learn. What, exactly, am I getting from this arrangement!? I can't imagine what it's like working in an aquatics shop!


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