# Old skool tales (2) "we need a dead snake"



## nick gilchrist (Oct 16, 2008)

Americans! They love us you know! Well..they love the whole concept of INGERLAND..CREAM TEAS ETC..so sometime around the mid 80s when THE EQUALISER was a huge success in the States with Edward Woodward in the role of an ex MI5 agent acting as a vigilante for hire
..and after the enormous success of BRIDESHEAD REVISITED , with tales of intrigue amongst the Upper Classes set in the rolling Country Homes of the Rich and then add to this that quaint English guy HIGGINS from the series MAGNUM..Then surely if you took the Englishness out of these 3 major successes and then put them together in one film...WELL...it had to spell success! So..end result. a deal was put together financed by an American TV Network (CBS ) in conjunction with the BBC to make a pilot film..made for TV..if all went well..it would become a series...

It was to be a remake of SHERLOCK HOLMES

So they got

























EDWARD WOODWARD AS SHERLOCK.............. JOHN HILLERMAN AS WATSON................................ANTHONY ANDREWS AS MORIARTY


The film was called "HANDS OF A MURDERER "








LOOK!! SAME FACIAL EXPRESSIONS! DIFFERENT PROPS!!


Filming would be made at HIGHCLERE CASTLE in NEWBURY, Berkshire,


Sooo ..where do I come into all this? Well at the time I was involved in a well known (at the time) Reptile and Tropical Birds shop in Wiltshire, ..We are talking the really early days of Reptiles as pets becoming hugely popular with the Filofax generation..We were also one of only a handful of venomous stockists in the UK,..one of our regular customers was a specialist in supplying animals for films...amongst others he supplied all the rats(yes..that`s rats not bats- watch it again!) in BATMAN (The first one) and lots more for TV Adverts..Anyhoo..the new film had an Egyptian theme and they needed COBRAS for certain scenes..so end result. as we were pretty much the only place within 100 miles that had them..we got the call!..They wanted Cobras and handlers..at the time we had several..so in conjunction with our film friend we agreed to supply them/handle them and generally" snake wrangle".
Our fees if i remember correctly were around £200 per day of filming, and it was only supposed to be about 2 days work....as it turned out..it ran into 7!

Now.you may think that sounds simple..it wasn`t..First I had to notify the police of the days we would be travelling. the route we would take. and the times we would be on the road (in case we were involved in an accident) Then I had to contact the nearest hospitals to the film set to advise of the fact we would be working with these snakes, As far as anti venom was concerned, we had to travel with the required medicine. which at the time was out of date if i remember..and due to time constraints we instead had to notify this to the hospital who had then to advise the School of Tropical Medicine.(Who held stocks)..Now for some reason..im not sure why...there was no mention of insurance etc..Once all these things were done..we set off to Highclere with 2 cobras..1x Egyptian Cobra (Naje haJe)about 3ft, & 1 x 5ft Thai Monacled Cobra (Naje kaouthia). Each snake was contained in a metal travelling box with heatpack and padlock..the car we travelled in had to display a notice advising we had venomous snakes on board..JEEZ HEALTH N SAFETY OR WHAT!! but the film company had an on site..errrr ST JOHNS AMBULANCE MAN called Pete.He was changing his pants on a regular basis! God Bless em!

The first day was interesting to say the least..we were ushered to a "wig room" where we were to keep the snakes whilst awaiting Directors call..(yes the room where they kept all the wigs worn by the actors- Edward Woodwards was seriously naff!)
and we waited..and waited..and waited... this was to be a regular feature of "working on a film" but the good side was whilst you waited the film catering crew supplied a non stop 24 hrs help yourself buffet of sandwiches. hot coffee and cakes!
There were 3 film crews operating at any one time..each shooting different parts of the film in various locations in the grounds..Finally the call came...The first shot involved a scene were Moriarty (Anthony Andrews) invites one of his henchmen to have a cigar..to be taken from a huge cigar box on his table..our job was to place a Cobra in the box..and to get a shot of the lid being lifted. the Cobra rising. hooded and striking at the intruding hand. Easy Peesy!! NOT! All the cast were cleared from the set leaving only the Director and 2 film crew..oh..and us!

We had to use the smallest Cobra obviously. so first job..get it in the box..hmmmm ok..after several attempts..this was achieved..with the box lid down..now came the hard part..getting the shot. The Pro Stuntmen on the film did not want to know! So now was the time to earn our money!

At the time i had only been working with Cobras a short time and still wasn`t that confident at real close up work..So my lunatic friend took over the hardest job....he got dressed in the actors coat. put on his stage ring and had the job of playing the "hand that gets bitten"..I stood at the side of the cigar box ready to stop the Cobra if it dashed off when the box was opened..cameras rolled..ACTION!..He opened the box (fingers right at its edges)..the Cobra didnt move! not an inch.quite happy thankyou..curled up. half asleep in its new dark place..bit of tongue flicking but thats it....CUT!..This continued for about 8 more takes..Drastic action was required..we were being paid to get the shot...Soo..we had to get the Cobra to be a Cobra..how? TAP IT ON THE HEAD!..:gasp: So we did..well he did! Sod that!! After teasing it and tapping its head a few times it was full on ready to kill anything that moved..it wan`t a spitter but there was venom all over the antique Naploeon period desk top! Final try..Roll cameras...Action...! He lifted the lid...instantly the snake hooded rose and struck..missing his hand by an iinch..CUT!! JOB DONE..

With that the Cobra thought sod this! im off! and lurched out of the box..i dont think ive ever moved so fast! I grabbed the Cobra with the grabstick and pinned its head returning it back to the nice warm sack..and back to its container...
"EXCELLENT" said the Director..." Ermm by the way." he said.."Whats all that liquid on the desk?"..
When we explained it was venom he nearly passed out!..He thought we were using devenomated snakes.. Almost immediately word got out amongst the cast and crew. and for the next few days it seemed we were inundated with a barrage of questions about our snakes.
We made another scene with both Cobras loose on the floor after getting knocked out of "snake baskets" We held onto the Cobras tails whilst they hooded at the Stunt men who were lying on the floor with 6,mm perspex screen between them and the snakes.. Very much a case of "DON`T LOOK AT ME LOOK AT HIM !
The filming went on for several days..during which time I had some great experiences..meeting and chatting with the Stars of the film..watching Anthony Andrews (a method actor) strolling around the set in full on Moriarty mode..and perhaps my favourite memory is of spending time with this lovely lady,,,,,,,,,









KIM THOMSON she played the part of Moriarty`s girlfriend..at the time she was only really known from her role as a posh bit inthe TV Series "BRUSH STROKES" but as im sure you will realise..now plays the role of FAYE LAMB in EMMERDALE FARM..She would join me each break and we would sit in the huge WINNEBAGO truck which acted as the canteen and talk for ages about all things Reptile! She was fascinated!..which suited me as I had a major crush!!

OH...ALMOST FORGOT..Why is this tale called "WE NEED A DEAD SNAKE?"

During the filming one of the Cobras is shot..and the Diector shouted this out to his "AQUIRER"..who asked us..We didnt...so instead we had to work with the special effects crew...believe it or not they bought a 4ft Rubber toy snake and attached a plasticine hood..then placed an explosive charge in it to replicate its head being blown off...in slow mo on film its hilarious! but in normal speed it only lasted a fraction of a second so you don`t spot it..

THINGS I SAW WHILST THERE!

Jon Hillerman..nice gay man...during breaks would have his 19 year old boyfriend bring out his shooting stick seat to rest on ..and bring him cold tea with 6 sugars.

Edward Woodward..Absolutely no airs and graces,,chatted with everyone..all the crew loved him.. Really nice guy who was happy to chat with me about anything!

Anthony Andrews...WEEEEEEIRD! but cool..spent all day in character..even during lunch!..avoided talking to anyone but the Director.



Ah well..there you go..another day another memory....hope you liked it..

PS - THE FILM WAS PANTS! I MEAN PAAAAAANTS! It was shown on TV before xmas i think..but if you ever do get to see it..at least you will look at it in a different light!

More to come! DAVID ATTENBOROUGH! Now got a couple of great ones about him...........:whistling2:


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## joeyboy (Jul 19, 2008)

I WANT TALE 3, NOW!!!:lol2:


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## Gaboon (Jun 20, 2005)

Another great read, thanks!!


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## SleepyD (Feb 13, 2008)

> He opened the box (fingers right at its edges)..the Cobra didnt move! not an inch.quite happy thankyou..curled up. half asleep in its new dark place..bit of tongue flicking but thats it....CUT!..This continued for about 8 more takes..Drastic action was required..we were being paid to get the shot...Soo..we had to get the Cobra to be a Cobra..how? TAP IT ON THE HEAD!..:gasp: So we did..well he did! Sod that!! After teasing it and tapping its head a few times it was full on ready to kill anything that moved..it wan`t a spitter but there was venom all over the antique Naploeon period desk top! Final try..Roll cameras...Action...! He lifted the lid...instantly the snake hooded rose and struck..missing his hand by an iinch..CUT!! JOB DONE..
> 
> With that the Cobra thought sod this! im off! and lurched out of the box..i dont think ive ever moved so fast! I grabbed the Cobra with the grabstick and pinned its head returning it back to the nice warm sack..and back to its container...


lmao have just read this and sat here laughing like a loon ~ pure genius :lol2:


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## piehunter (Jul 10, 2007)

Nick,

These stories are superb, please continue to share them........


:notworthy::notworthy::notworthy::notworthy:


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## Ally (Mar 8, 2006)

Thanks again from me too!


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## nick gilchrist (Oct 16, 2008)

No problem..im sure i can scrape the memory banks for a while longer...: victory: mmmmmmmmmmmmm:whistling2:


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## Berber King (Dec 29, 2007)

Great story,was the guy for the cobras by the initials of TS ? As im sure ive been told it before.


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## nick gilchrist (Oct 16, 2008)

Berber King said:


> Great story,was the guy for the cobras by the initials of TS ? As im sure ive been told it before.


 
:lol2: hmmmmm might be!!


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## grannykins (Oct 9, 2006)

Had to look for this one, as I've just read the 3rd and hadnt realised I'd missed one. Keep them coming please!


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## Dragon Wolf (Oct 27, 2009)

Another great story Nick, I could read these all night :2thumb:


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## jools (Apr 4, 2009)

Brilliant. Have you thought about writing a book? Keep 'em coming.........please


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