# Advice on how i should feel please..........



## Emmaj (Dec 3, 2007)

right i did a favour for someone..................

i rehomed something for someone because i knew my son missed something and when she arrived i told him this is yours...............

i also offered to fosters some other things.............cos i thought i would be a nice thing to do cos i was rehoming one.............

this person has been intouch saying she wants all back even the one i have introduced to my son as his.................

what do i do ? 

is it right to ask for something back once you have REHOMED it ?


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## ratking (Mar 4, 2008)

no if thers been no agreement before hand she has no rights to ur animal.


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## happyhogs (Nov 18, 2008)

I think you are perfectly within your rights to refuse to give anything back but maybe you could negotiate by asking that the animal your son has taken as his, gets to stay and she gets the rest back?


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## Emmaj (Dec 3, 2007)

thing that hurts is i now have to tell my son who watched his persian cat die due to renal failur die that................his kitten aint his now it has to go back home...............


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## xaimzx (Nov 24, 2008)

I'm pretty sure you can't do that, she agreed to give the animals to you to rehome and so technically im guessing they're now yours? Just because you didnt buy the animals off her it doesnt mean she can just take them back again when she wants. It's unfair of her to ask for them back.
But like happyhogs says, maybe you could negotiate with her for your son to keep his new pet?


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## fenwoman (Apr 15, 2008)

let me get this straight. The deal was that because this person was in rented and couldn't take all her animals, she offloaded them all. You agreed to foster several and she said that you could keep the kitten. You told your 8 year old that this was his kitten. Now, the person who offloaded the animals because of rented house, suddenly wants that particular animal back? So are they now not in rented after all? If she wants her animals back, then tell her to come and get them ....all. Save you a fortune on feeding, worming, defleaing, vaccination etc which you would have had to pay out on whilst you were fostering them long term. So if her rental states she can now have her animals back, let her have them all.
Otherwise, do what I'd do and tell her to whistle!:bash:


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## mask-of-sanity (Dec 27, 2006)

no its not right you rehomed one so thats yours to keep the others you fostered so they can go home


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## Emmaj (Dec 3, 2007)

fenwoman said:


> let me get this straight. The deal was that because this person was in rented and couldn't take all her animals, she offloaded them all. You agreed to foster several and she said that you could keep the kitten. You told your 8 year old that this was his kitten. Now, the person who offloaded the animals because of rented house, suddenly wants that particular animal back? So are they now not in rented after all? If she wants her animals back, then tell her to come and get them ....all. Save you a fortune on feeding, worming, defleaing, vaccination etc which you would have had to pay out on whilst you were fostering them long term. So if her rental states she can now have her animals back, let her have them all.
> Otherwise, do what I'd do and tell her to whistle!:bash:


 
thats exactly it


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## linda.t (Sep 28, 2007)

i agree with fenwoman.


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## Natonstan (Aug 9, 2008)

Yeah dont give them back, there your animals now, I'd tell her to sod off


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## PythonPaul (Dec 21, 2008)

Tell them you want £10 a night boarding for each animal you had fostered, or let you keep the one your son has and call it quits :whistling2:


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## Shell195 (May 31, 2007)

You have a pm Emma


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## marthaMoo (May 4, 2007)

Oh Emma ((hugs))

Do you have it in writting that she agreed you could keep the kitten?


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## brittone05 (Sep 29, 2006)

Em - can you PM me please


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## Emmaj (Dec 3, 2007)

i think it was on one of the threads somewhere martha


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## selina20 (May 28, 2008)

This is aweful. You were doing her a mahoosive favour and now all she wants to do is upset a poor boy and take his kitten. Some people really know how to mess with peoples feelings. I would tell her to get lost and if she wants a cat that badly take the others back with her but your keeping the kitten.


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## mask-of-sanity (Dec 27, 2006)

a piece from one of her adds that i remembered 

i have *3* cats who need new homes either permanant or long term fosters(until we can buy our own house).
*Firstly Emmaj is fostering Saffy for me and will be keeping Ruby as her son recently lost his cat due to illness.*
Secondly please only reply if you are genuine and can help


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## Emmaj (Dec 3, 2007)

mask-of-sanity said:


> a piece from one of her adds that i remembered
> 
> i have *3* cats who need new homes either permanant or long term fosters(until we can buy our own house).
> *Firstly Emmaj is fostering Saffy for me and will be keeping Ruby as her son recently lost his cat due to illness.*
> Secondly please only reply if you are genuine and can help


thank you mask of sanity i love you :flrt::flrt::flrt::flrt:


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## Natonstan (Aug 9, 2008)

I PM'd you the link to the original thread of her selling them emma, dunno if you needed it or not


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## Titch1980 (Mar 6, 2006)

right im not gonna sit back and be slagged etc etc, this thread has made me out to be a complete bitch but it aint as straightforward as emma has made it seem.
no i havent offloaded them at all to me offloaded is like im fed up of them etc etc, which i was not. 
i looked for homes/foster homes because i had to move due to being on the worst estate in town and my kids hadnt been able to play out for the last 5yrs due to the scummy neighbours. 
i havent just decided oh i want them back, my eldest daughter is peeing the bed and hardly eating because she is so distraught at never being able to see Ruby again, so yes emma's son is gonna be upset but my daughter is too. i told her this when i had sat up for hours early hours this morning thinkig over in my head what to do, how to say it etc etc. 
i am not the cow this thread is making me out to be and not one of you has asked why i have done this, its just been made out as though i am the biggest a***hole to walk the earth. and it aint fair.


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## mask-of-sanity (Dec 27, 2006)

Emmaj said:


> thank you mask of sanity i love you :flrt::flrt::flrt::flrt:


your welcome emma.....its in writing so she cant demand that cat back


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## Emmaj (Dec 3, 2007)

i knew it was written somewhere just head up bum couldnt think where


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## marthaMoo (May 4, 2007)

Rach did you not explain the animal situation to your children before they left for Emma's?

So have you moved? or are not moving now? And you can have your cats back now? You want them all back? or just the kitten?

Thing is you have written it in black and white that Emma is keeping the kitten, so realisitically you have rehomed the kitten to Emma.


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## fenwoman (Apr 15, 2008)

rach1980 said:


> right im not gonna sit back and be slagged etc etc, this thread has made me out to be a complete bitch but it aint as straightforward as emma has made it seem.
> no i havent offloaded them at all to me offloaded is like im fed up of them etc etc, which i was not.
> i looked for homes/foster homes because i had to move due to being on the worst estate in town and my kids hadnt been able to play out for the last 5yrs due to the scummy neighbours.
> i havent just decided oh i want them back, my eldest daughter is peeing the bed and hardly eating because she is so distraught at never being able to see Ruby again, so yes emma's son is gonna be upset but my daughter is too. i told her this when i had sat up for hours early hours this morning thinkig over in my head what to do, how to say it etc etc.
> i am not the cow this thread is making me out to be and not one of you has asked why i have done this, its just been made out as though i am the biggest a***hole to walk the earth. and it aint fair.


 And nor is it fair that you first give something then want to take it back. I'm assuming that your rental agreement still say no pets?
Why not take one of the others back that she is fostering for you and tell your daughter that you cannot grab back an animal which you gave to a little boy to help him get over his cat dying.
So yes, I'm afraid I think you grabbed help and offloaded your animals when it suited you and you are being a mean spirited person by asking for the kitten back. If it was my and my young son, I think you have an idea of what my reply to you would be.
I'm hoping Emaa sticks to her part of the agrrement between you and keeps the kitten you gave her.
You cannot simply give someone something, then demand it back.
Tell your daughter how lucky she is and how happy she will be when she gets her well loved and familiar older cats back with her that she has known for years. Unlike a kitten which she hardly knows at all.


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## selina20 (May 28, 2008)

Tbh you should of made sure your kids understood this before the cats went. Emma has helped you out loads with them and all she wanted in return was the kitten to mend her sons broken heart. You should never of made this promise if you werent sure how your kids were going to take it. At the end of the day its a difficult situation but i think u will find its in Emmas right to keep the kitten.


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## Emmaj (Dec 3, 2007)

I have told rach she is welcome to pick the other cats up BUT ruby is stayin 

im sorry rach you agreed to me keeping ruby


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## crazeemaz (Jun 25, 2008)

*I agree with Emma*

Ruby should stay with Emma and her son!


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## Shell195 (May 31, 2007)

I have spoken to Rach all through her thread of rehoming/fostering her cats and know how hard it has been for her. She isnt a cow or anything else nasty. Its a very hard one this but I have explained my thoughts to Rach as I have to Emma, which ever way you look at it a child is going to be upset. If you give someone something you really cant ask for it back. It is very hard with kids involved so its down to the adults to sort it out. Cant you arrange for Emma and Lew to send pics and updates of Rubys progress for your children to see?? And maybe in the future a visit where they can see her and Emmas skunks and huskys, Im sure Emma wouldnt mind


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## freekygeeky (May 25, 2007)

such a shame this has happened on both parties.. 
hope it gets sorted, in a *friendly* manner.
please think of the animals..


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## Meko (Apr 29, 2007)

rehoming = its Emma's
fostering = it's Rach's and Emma is looking after it.

sorry Rach but asking for everything back is going to make things awkward with the fostered animals.


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## Emmaj (Dec 3, 2007)

Shell195 said:


> I have spoken to Rach all through her thread of rehoming/fostering her cats and know how hard it has been for her. She isnt a cow or anything else nasty. Its a very hard one this but I have explained my thoughts to Rach as I have to Emma, which ever way you look at it a child is going to be upset. If you give someone something you really cant ask for it back. It is very hard with kids involved so its down to the adults to sort it out. Cant you arrange for Emma and Lew to send pics and updates of Rubys progress for your children to see?? And maybe in the future a visit where they can see her and Emmas skunks and huskys, Im sure Emma wouldnt mind


 
shell i would be more than happy for that 

though the way things are going im gonna be good ole me an end up caving in and loosing out as i always do 

see what people seem to forget on here is i have a son too i dont plaster his pics everywhere but he does exist people on the forum have met him 

but hey ho hey


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## lizardloverrach (Dec 1, 2008)

you should feel, quite rightly, that the kitten is yours! you cant chop and change your mind like that, if you rehome something its as good as sold!


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## freekygeeky (May 25, 2007)

it must eb awful for both parties.. but..
you rehomed, thats a forever home in my eyes,  maybe you should of fostered them all, until you knew for definate... then neither of your children would of been hurt .. eek difficutl situation.


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## lizardloverrach (Dec 1, 2008)

Emmaj said:


> shell i would be more than happy for that
> 
> though the way things are going im gonna be good ole me an end up caving in and loosing out as i always do
> 
> ...


hey dont lose out and cave, think of your little guy, her kid is no more important than yours!!!!


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## farmercoope (Aug 19, 2008)

ive told you my thoughts emma on msn and i firmly stand by them, if she had fostered them to you it would have been different, but she actually wrote and said that you could have the kitten to keep, quite right, its yours! I understand how rach feels and i feel for her and her daughter, but surely she should have though of that before, and fostered the kitten too, instead of rehoming her on a permanent basis!


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## Graylord (Jul 17, 2007)

I`m guessing any animals returned will be re-homed ,fostered out again very shortly.

Rach you did this because of a situation you are in and that situation hasn`t changed, think carefully what your next move should be or your cats will just be constantly messed about ,i messed a dog about once and i`v still to this day never forgiven myself it haunts me still .


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## Emmaj (Dec 3, 2007)

lizardloverrach said:


> hey dont lose out and cave, think of your little guy, her kid is no more important than yours!!!!


yeah thats so true why should my son now have to say goodbye to something that should rightfully be his 

if your children want to say another good bye to rubes rach they can when you pick the other cats up 

but im sorry you said she was mine so she will be mine


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## Emmaj (Dec 3, 2007)

darwengray said:


> I`m guessing any animals returned will be re-homed ,fostered out again very shortly.
> 
> Rach you did this because of a situation you are in and that situation hasn`t changed, think carefully what your next move should be or your cats will just be constantly messed about ,i messed a dog about once and i`v still to this day never forgiven myself it haunts me still .


 
well as far as im aware is she still aint allowed the cats in the house so they are gonna be dished out between family so they can still see them............


these cats are being passed from pillar to post and its so unfair on them


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## selina20 (May 28, 2008)

Emmaj said:


> yeah thats so true why should my son now have to say goodbye to something that should rightfully be his
> 
> if your children want to say another good bye to rubes rach they can when you pick the other cats up
> 
> but im sorry you said she was mine so she will be mine


Well done hun. I know this is hard for you but as it said before you have your son to think about and its his kitty. Dont feel bad about this as you have done the right thing.


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## Mrs dirtydozen (Sep 5, 2008)

imo i think emmaj should keep ruby, she will give it a forever home, she wont rehome her

it isnt nice for either parties but does the little girl just want ruby coz she is a kitten, ruby will grow up like all the other cats, so why cant she be happy with one of the older ones.

im sure emmaj n her son (which emma n i have talked about b4 in pms n he sounds a lovely little boy n a credit to emma) will look after the cat very well.

hope things can get sorted n everyone can stay friends


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## Mrs dirtydozen (Sep 5, 2008)

all i can say is ur to nice emma n all the shit seems to happen to u, coz u try n help people out, well dont let it this time


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## indigo_rock_girl (Mar 9, 2008)

Emmaj said:


> yeah thats so true why should my son now have to say goodbye to something that should rightfully be his
> 
> if your children want to say another good bye to rubes rach they can when you pick the other cats up
> 
> but im sorry you said she was mine so she will be mine


I am glad that you have stuck by it.:2thumb:


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## Emmaj (Dec 3, 2007)

I would like to say thank you to all who have given me support through this via pm as well as ont he thread 

I will not hand back ruby as she was given to me 

if it hadnt been for me saying to my son look she is yours...........then it wouldn have been a problem but i did 

my son is in love with her so she will stay put !!!


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## vonnie (Aug 20, 2007)

This is so sad. Rach, I don't think anyone thinks badly of you. Everyone could see how sad you were about rehoming your animals.

I think you realise now that perhaps you've made a mistake. But that's life, and all we can do is learn from it when we do.

I think Emma did you a huge favour offering to foster the other cats. I don't think you have any right legally to ask for the kitten back as you 'rehomed' it. To push this will only cause more upset for you, Emma and most importantly, Emma's son.

I know you're thinking of your daughter, but give it time. She'll come to terms with it. It's still early days. And this was done in the first place to give your children the chance of better surroundings to grow up in. I can understand that being a priority.

I hope you can sort this out.


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## Emmaj (Dec 3, 2007)

vonnie said:


> This is so sad. Rach, I don't think anyone thinks badly of you. Everyone could see how sad you were about rehoming your animals.
> 
> I think you realise now that perhaps you've made a mistake. But that's life, and all we can do is learn from it when we do.
> 
> ...


 
you know everything you said there is so right an this is the last thing in the world i wanted to do but.....................when you are given something for your son and you do a favour in return then it hurts when someone wants to try and take it back from you


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## Gem (Aug 26, 2007)

Emmaj said:


> I would like to say thank you to all who have given me support through this via pm as well as ont he thread
> 
> I will not hand back ruby as she was given to me
> 
> ...


 
Good on you Em :no1:


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## Esarosa (Jul 13, 2007)

Rach hun, I know your in a terrible situation, and I think some people have commented rather unfairly without knowing the true extent of the situation. But I too have to agree wit the majority on this thread. As hard as it is and as heartbroken as your daughter is, and believe me I went through similar when I was younger with our cavalier king charles. (we went on holiday, came back and he was officially my grandads dog, he was happy and that was that..dog taken from four year old..looking back now i can see that it was better for him but at the time i was a mess) it's not fair on emma,her son or the cats.

Cats are so easily stressed hun, you know this. I know you fostered them as you had no choice really, but going to pick them up a day or so after they've arrived, is going to do them no end of bother. Personally I would talk to your daughter, and really try to explain the situation, explain that where you are you can't keep them, and this way you know she will be loved and taken care of, and that she can see pictures and have updates, and maybe even visit her sometimes. When she is older she WILL understand trust me. I know that doesn't make it any easier for her now, but you have to think of the cats welfare as well. If you do decide to take saffy and the others (except Ruby back) thing long and hard, and make sure you know for definite that yes they can stay at my sisters house, or friends or whatever. You don't want this to have to happen again. Believe me I know how upsetting this is for you. But you did give Ruby to Emma and her son, legally Ruby is now theirs and you relinquished your rights to her. If you pursued it you wouldn't have a leg to stand on.

Just think really long and hard Rach about exactley what is best for the cats...not the humans involved, the animals. I know thats hard when you have kids but try. If either of you need to talk you can pm me or grab me on msn.


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## xXFooFooLaFluffXx (Aug 4, 2007)

ive refrained from postin on this thread as ive spoken to both emma and rach about this, but im pretty sure, as a police officer said it to me the other day, that cats are not classed as possessions or property like dogs are/were, someone correct me if im wrong?

i too feel for both parties but at the end of the day this kitten was rehomed in good faith and lewis now thinks he has a cat back who he can love like he did tink. To take him away now would be cruel. im sure your daughter will find comfort from havin the other two back, and that way hopefully both children can be happy


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## Esarosa (Jul 13, 2007)

Although cats go by different laws to dogs, according to the text book I have here they're classed as goods/possessions...There have been a few errors in it so far like..

but it basically says that cat theft and receiving stolen cats are criminal offenses in the uk as they're classed as an owners possesion. That people who take in cats they believe to be strays, and 'adopt' them could still be classed as thieves if the owner decided to pursue it, and that an owner can claim a cat up until 6 years after its gone missing, but not if the owner willingly rehomed the animal...so about as clear as mud.


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## Emmaj (Dec 3, 2007)

Great so that mean i may have 2 court battles on my hands over custody of animals


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## sparkle (Mar 21, 2007)

the cat was GIVEN to you emmaj .. therfore u are now the OWNER..

like if someone GIVES me a television..

and its in writing.. just because u did not pay for it does not mean it is not ures..

PLEASE rach, and i know cos ive spoken to u how hard this is.. let emma and her son keep ruby..

i appreciate youve made a mistake here but your mistake should be your censequences not Emmas..

if i made a mistake id expect me and my kids if it affected them to take the brunt.. NOT the other person.. emma was trying to help.. she should not have to suffer for doing a good deed..


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## xXFooFooLaFluffXx (Aug 4, 2007)

Emmaj said:


> Great so that mean i may have 2 court battles on my hands over custody of animals


no you wont as Rachel willingly relinquished ownership to you and you have it in black and white

Katie- i spoke to a police officer the other day regarding the cats and dogs in our house at the time of the fire. neighbours werent allowed in to get the dogs as he said they are our property but the cats arent classed as property so could have been taken without any come back


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## Esarosa (Jul 13, 2007)

Emmaj said:


> Great so that mean i may have 2 court battles on my hands over custody of animals



In theory no. Ruby was gifted to you. It also states it on the forum, not sure how that would hold up in court though, emails/pms etc would all add leverage to that though I would image. I really hope that it wouldn't come to that, as the only people who will gain from it will be the solicitors. And everyone else, animals too will suffer for it. I really hope you can both reach an amicable solution



xXFooFooLaFluffXx said:


> no you wont as Rachel willingly relinquished ownership to you and you have it in black and white
> 
> Katie- i spoke to a police officer the other day regarding the cats and dogs in our house at the time of the fire. neighbours werent allowed in to get the dogs as he said they are our property but the cats arent classed as property so could have been taken without any come back


According to this cat specific book it says that the owner can claim the cat as theres up to 6 years after a cat has gone missing/been taken in by someone. It does mention that its basically lawfully the owners property. So if they did come in and take the cats that would be classed as theft. :? Also a microchip would help the owners case apparently. Maybe the book is lying but theres a fair chunk in the back about cats and the law so i don't know.. then again we used to have a policeman who lived near us and he wasn't up on every law so who knows :?


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## xXFooFooLaFluffXx (Aug 4, 2007)

Katiexx said:


> In theory no. Ruby was gifted to you. It also states it on the forum, not sure how that would hold up in court though, emails/pms etc would all add leverage to that though I would image. I really hope that it wouldn't come to that, as the only people who will gain from it will be the solicitors. And everyone else, animals too will suffer for it. I really hope you can both reach an amicable solution
> 
> 
> 
> According to this cat specific book it says that the owner can claim the cat as theres up to 6 years after a cat has gone missing/been taken in by someone. It does mention that its basically lawfully the owners property. So if they did come in and take the cats that would be classed as theft. :? Also a microchip would help the owners case apparently. Maybe the book is lying but theres a fair chunk in the back about cats and the law so i don't know.. then again we used to have a policeman who lived near us and he wasn't up on every law so who knows :?


it doesnt matter how much we debate this topic as it doesnt apply when given a cat as a rehome


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## Emmaj (Dec 3, 2007)

Katiexx said:


> In theory no. Ruby was gifted to you. It also states it on the forum, not sure how that would hold up in court though, emails/pms etc would all add leverage to that though I would image. I really hope that it wouldn't come to that, as the only people who will gain from it will be the solicitors. And everyone else, animals too will suffer for it. I really hope you can both reach an amicable solution
> 
> 
> 
> According to this cat specific book it says that the owner can claim the cat as theres up to 6 years after a cat has gone missing/been taken in by someone. It does mention that its basically lawfully the owners property. So if they did come in and take the cats that would be classed as theft. :? Also a microchip would help the owners case apparently. Maybe the book is lying but theres a fair chunk in the back about cats and the law so i don't know.. then again we used to have a policeman who lived near us and he wasn't up on every law so who knows :?


seems like it will end that way being she told me i should seek professional help as she is gonna too 

GAWD im so gonna stop doing anybody any favours that way i cant end up in thes darn situations :bash:


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## Esarosa (Jul 13, 2007)

xXFooFooLaFluffXx said:


> it doesnt matter how much we debate this topic as it doesnt apply when given a cat as a rehome



Not saying it does Cat...If you go back a page I was explaining where the law is supposed to stand on cats, and that owners can claim them back up to 6 years if they've gone missing been taken in from someone, but NOT if they're given away, as that is handing the animal over/rehoming, whether cash changes hands or not. But you quoted me so was just explaining what it said


Emma just give Rach some time hun, she's got a lot on her plate, and I'm sure you can both sort something out when things have settled down a little. Fingers crossed anyways. A legal battle wouldn't be any good for the kids, it would just give false hope. Really hope you get this resolved for all of your sakes.


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## xXFooFooLaFluffXx (Aug 4, 2007)

Katiexx said:


> Not saying it does Cat...If you go back a page I was explaining where the law is supposed to stand on cats, and that owners can claim them back up to 6 years if they've gone missing been taken in from someone, but NOT if they're given away, as that is handing the animal over/rehoming, whether cash changes hands or not. But you quoted me so was just explaining what it said
> 
> 
> Emma just give Rach some time hun, she's got a lot on her plate, and I'm sure you can both sort something out when things have settled down a little. Fingers crossed anyways. A legal battle wouldn't be any good for the kids, it would just give false hope. Really hope you get this resolved for all of your sakes.


 
nah i know hun, was just quotin you cos it was the closest quote in relation to my post :lol2:


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## Zoo-Man (Apr 12, 2008)

Emmaj said:


> seems like it will end that way being she told me i should seek professional help as she is gonna too
> 
> GAWD im so gonna stop doing anybody any favours that way i cant end up in thes darn situations :bash:


Emma, you are nothing but a good samaritan! It is damn wrong that you get sh*t on like this! You have my full support hun!


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## mrsfluff (Jul 15, 2007)

What an awful situation for you both. I'm sorry that your daughter is so upset Rach, it must be very hard for you on top of the move and parting with your pets. I do feel though that as you rehomed the kitten you have relinquished your right to it. Maybe it's the whole move that has affected your daughter as well as the kitten, it's just this is the bit she's focussed on?

Emma, I think you have every right to the kitten, it's just unfortunate that nobody will come out of this 100% happy. Please take heart from the support on here, I hope that given time Rach will back off from this.

Sorry for you both really, never easy when kids are involved.

Jo


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## butterfingersbimbo (Jan 26, 2008)

I am staying out of this, I hope that you both manage to come to an agreement, and manage to stay friends.


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## MELINDAGIBSON (Sep 8, 2007)

*oh*

have to agree with the majority here emmaj should keep ruby as she is now her sons 
keep your chin up emmaj


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## MSL (Jul 30, 2007)

Hi Emma
Saw this last night and have been thinkning about it off and on since.......I agree the whole asking for the kitten back is wrong and personally I think think it is well out of order. The other party should have explained everything properly to her child and thought of the consequences of her actions.
However, to me now keeping the kitten would leave a really bad taste in my mouth. I couldnt look at it without feeling bitter and angry about the situation you have been put in. 
I would return it and let her get on with it but I would then make a really really big deal with your son about how you will be going to get him his very very own special kitten that no-one can take back........and get him involved with looking for the kitten....I know he will be devastated at losing Ruby but tell him he can have his own cat and give it his own name....no-one elses!!.....
I would wash my hands od the whole affair and let this person just sort it out herself. It is after all her responsibility. Then if she has to re-home the cats through official channels, ie a rescue home, she can't do the same thing again.

Good Luck whatever you decide.
Pen


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## Schip (Mar 31, 2007)

Had a similar thing happen to a friend with her cats whilst she was in hospital her son fostered them out, she took it to court and lost some of the animals as the judge stated. An animal is a possession and even with a contract of fostering that both parties agreed to at the time and stuck to it 'wasn't worth the paper it is written on' - the animal is still considered the property of the receiver, it didn't matter that her situation was an emergency, her son handed the animals over not her etc. They had ben received in good faith, not stolen ergo remained the property of the new owner. 

She got 7 of her dogs back in the same hearing as she had KC docuement,s DNA paternity tests, microchip's etc the only thing the judge was interested in was the DNA paternity results which proved she'd bred the puppies. This case cost the over £12,000.00 with solicitors/barrister fee's without the court costs involved. Most solicitors won't touch animal cases such as this one because its a no win situation and too costly anytime you 'foster' an animal out beware it may well be the last time you are considered the owner of said animal.


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## butterfingersbimbo (Jan 26, 2008)

just out of curiosity, how long was Ruby living with Rach, was it one that her own cats had given birth too? and how long have you had Ruby for Emma? : victory:


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## Ragmoth (Oct 4, 2008)

Oh Emma i am so sorry this is happening to you and your son. I admire your love for animals and your commitment towards them. 

I can only hope the person involved can see sense. 

If you ever want a chat, Pm me and i can give you a call. I know you don't know me but I LOVE speaking on the phone  And can talk for England! 

Emma xxx


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## saxon (Feb 26, 2007)

Well I took these cats to Emma's for Rach.

Rach,
I know your little girl is upset but you did tell me Emma was keeping Ruby, my daughter wanted her as well, so really it would be wrong to insist on having the kitten back.
I'm sure your daughter will settle once the other two are back though and get used to the kitten not being there. After all she saw the other kittens being rehomed when they were younger and was ok with that.
Emma can send email pics etc I'm sure.


Emma,

I know that your little boy is very happy with Ruby, he's a smashing little boy as well, I think he should keep her as he was given her to keep.
I'm sorry it's turned into a mess I thought the cats were staying at yours more or less permanently!!!!

I understand Rach's upset with this happening and all. I'm sure the Xmas period has not been fun for yer at ll with the upheaval of moving etc.
Maybe witha little time she will rethink what might be better for the girls and the cats.
I'm sure her eldest daughter will settle eventually. Also the reaction she is having may not all be to do with the cats going but the situation as it is at the moment,.
When they are in their new home and everything is better, they can play out etc, I'm sure she will be a lot happier.

I hope this can be sorted out amicably and not end up with a horrible argumant over these lovely cats.


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## Chazybabe (Jul 14, 2008)

Im presuming rach bred the kittens as last post says the daughter was ok seeing the other kittens go to new homes.. well when you move and are settled in why not just rescue a kitten the you will being it a favour.. at the end of the day to a child a kitten is a kitten which is why im pressuming shes only really upset about missing the kitten cus we all know as kids kittens are better and cuter than the older cats! So im sure another 1 will go down just aswell!

Emma keep the kitten its yours.. and hello!


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## Esarosa (Jul 13, 2007)

Rach did not breed Ruby. She got Ruby from the lady she got Misty from (I think she said in the cat chat thread)


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## Chazybabe (Jul 14, 2008)

Still theres a kitten in each household i think its fair.. as shes getting saffy back.. and its not like ruby was the only pet or that the others arnt coming back too.. i think your daughter will be fine..


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## Esarosa (Jul 13, 2007)

Chazybabe said:


> Still theres a kitten in each household i think its fair.. as shes getting saffy back.. and its not like ruby was the only pet or that the others arnt coming back too.. i think your daughter will be fine..



Kids do tend to have 'their' animals though and their favorites. I.e my brothers favorite cat as a kid was Harriet, mine was Sophie, we both saw those two as OURS nobody elses. So I suppose that is why Rach's daughter is struggling so much.

I also don't think replacing Ruby is the answer. Rach needs to get settled and talk to her landlord/lady about the outdoor cattery option before looking at getting anymore cats in my honest opinion. As i'm sure she doesn't want to have to go through this again any time soon,


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## saxon (Feb 26, 2007)

Katiexx said:


> Rach did not breed Ruby. She got Ruby from the lady she got Misty from (I think she said in the cat chat thread)


I automatically thought that Ruby was one of saffy's kittens sorry I must have misunderstood.

Either way they have all seen the kittens form Saffy go to new homes so will be able to cope with ruby doing the same I should think.
I thought Rach said, when I was there, that Saffy was Ruby's mother!!!!!
They did go in the same carrier whereas the tortie had to have a carrier of her own.


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## feorag (Jul 31, 2007)

I've just found this thread (houseful of family and I can't get near my computer!) and I feel dreadful for both Rach and Emma.

As Shell said earlier, I went through all Rach's anguish about finding a home that would be better for her children, but at the expense of her not being able to keep her animals and all her struggles to find an answer.

And I think Emma was being incredibly unselfish to take the cats on a fostering basis until Rach might be able to have them back.

I also appreciate that Rach could not know that her daughter would miss the kitten to such an extent (would anyone really know?) that she is wetting the bed and is so unhappy.

And I'm really miffed that a lot of people on here have come on and been somewhat aggressive about Rach without knowing her and her situation!

However, I have to say that Rach did agree that Emma's son could have the kitten and that Emma would foster the rest, so really Rach, as much as I know it will hurt you to hear it, I do not think in all conscience that you can ask for the kitten back.

It's really a tough call, but as has already been pointed out, one child is going to be disappointed and I for one wouldn't want that to happen, but what is right is that Emma should keep the kitten and Rach should get the other cats back, assuming that her new landlady agrees to compromise.


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## piglet79 (Jul 24, 2008)

I don't know either of you but In my opinion if Rach is having so much trouble at the moment how will she afford to sue you for a kitten 

To me it is a bit like me giving someone a christmas present one of my kids stamping there feet saying they want it and then me asking for it back 

At the end of the day it was given - not to be taken back 

If I were Rach I would not dare ask for the kitten back but tell my child that we cannot always have what we want :blush:

Piglet79


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## MELINDAGIBSON (Sep 8, 2007)

*hi*

could the bedwetting etc be due to the move etc its all been a big change for her im sure she will settle down 

melinda



rach1980 said:


> right im not gonna sit back and be slagged etc etc, this thread has made me out to be a complete bitch but it aint as straightforward as emma has made it seem.
> no i havent offloaded them at all to me offloaded is like im fed up of them etc etc, which i was not.
> i looked for homes/foster homes because i had to move due to being on the worst estate in town and my kids hadnt been able to play out for the last 5yrs due to the scummy neighbours.
> i havent just decided oh i want them back, my eldest daughter is peeing the bed and hardly eating because she is so distraught at never being able to see Ruby again, so yes emma's son is gonna be upset but my daughter is too. i told her this when i had sat up for hours early hours this morning thinkig over in my head what to do, how to say it etc etc.
> i am not the cow this thread is making me out to be and not one of you has asked why i have done this, its just been made out as though i am the biggest a***hole to walk the earth. and it aint fair.


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## Esarosa (Jul 13, 2007)

saxon said:


> I automatically thought that Ruby was one of saffy's kittens sorry I must have misunderstood.
> 
> Either way they have all seen the kittens form Saffy go to new homes so will be able to cope with ruby doing the same I should think.
> I thought Rach said, when I was there, that Saffy was Ruby's mother!!!!!
> They did go in the same carrier whereas the tortie had to have a carrier of her own.



Rach got Ruby when Saffy still had her litter at home, and Ruby integrated right in and Saffy mothered her. So maybe this is what she meant?

I think Rach is moving into the new house today so she probably won't be able to get online for a while, so maybe best if we just leave Emma & Rach to try and sort it out over the phone. I do agree though Eileen, a lot of people have jumped on Rach's back without knowing the extent of the situation. Just hope thios can get quickly and as smoothly resolved as possible for all concerned. Best of luck girls


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## butterfingersbimbo (Jan 26, 2008)

feorag said:


> I've just found this thread (houseful of family and I can't get near my computer!) and I feel dreadful for both Rach and Emma.
> 
> As Shell said earlier, I went through all Rach's anguish about finding a home that would be better for her children, but at the expense of her not being able to keep her animals and all her struggles to find an answer.
> 
> ...



It's good to read some sense on this thread Eileen :notworthy: it's a very difficult situation for both parties and I feel that nobody has the right to judge anyone involved.


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## feorag (Jul 31, 2007)

piglet79 said:


> To me it is a bit like me giving someone a christmas present one of my kids stamping there feet saying they want it and then me asking for it back


Well then it's obvious that you do not know the situation fully if you see it like that! 

Rach's daughter didn't see Emma's son being given "a kitten" and stamped her feet saying she wanted it. There's a huge difference between a child stamping its feet saying they want something they see someone else get! The kitten belonged to Rach and her daughter had a particular affinity with that kitten, Rach could not have known that her daughter would be so upset that she would suffer such consequences.

I'm sorry, but you are wrong!

And before anyone else jumps in telling me that I'm wrong because they think I'm saying that Rach should have the kitten back, I'm not saying that she should, but I personally see no wrong in her asking Emma about it.


Katiexx said:


> I think Rach is moving into the new house today so she probably won't be able to get online for a while, so maybe best if we just leave Emma & Rach to try and sort it out over the phone. I do agree though Eileen, a lot of people have jumped on Rach's back without knowing the extent of the situation. Just hope this can get quickly and as smoothly resolved as possible for all concerned. Best of luck girls


Melinda, Rach hasn't actually moved yet, she is moving today! So I believe, like Rach, that her daughter's problems are because she is missing the kitten (and no doubt the other cats) 

And Katie you're right - there's a lot of people on here have come on with their typical "gung ho" attitude and blamed Rach outright without knowing all the facts.

I'm not saying Rach is right, but I can see why she has asked for the cats and kitten back - because of her daughter.

Unfortunately, the fact that Emma's son has now formed the same attachment to the kitten has complicated the issue between them and Emma is right that Rach had given her the kitten and therefore she has the right to refuse to return it.


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## africa (Sep 12, 2008)

Stay strong Emma, and don't let this make you change the way you are- ie a very generous person who is always helping others with their animals.
I'm sorry for your situation Rach but you cannot do this to Emma and her son and why go to the lengths of threatening legal action- it was your decision to rehome Ruby and presumably you didn't make that decision without a lot of thought, you cannot ask for her back,a deal is a deal and you made it with someone who has gone out of her way to help you. 

Chin up Emma, big hugs coming your way xx


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## Ragmoth (Oct 4, 2008)

Emma, if you are feeling down and sad about this i have 2 lovely female animals. They are of the children variety, 6 and nearly 4. You can foster them long-term if it helps make you feel better?  xxx


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## butterfingersbimbo (Jan 26, 2008)

feorag said:


> Well then it's obvious that you do not know the situation fully if you see it like that!
> 
> Rach's daughter didn't see Emma's son being given "a kitten" and stamped her feet saying she wanted it. There's a huge difference between a child stamping its feet saying they want something they see someone else get! The kitten belonged to Rach and her daughter had a particular affinity with that kitten, Rach could not have known that her daughter would be so upset that she would suffer such consequences.
> 
> ...



Again, I very much agree with you Eileen. There's no way this is a cut and dry situation, no one has the right to jump in and judge Rachel, no one could have guessed how upset both Rach's and Emma's children would be about the kitten. Emma has been very kind to take the cats, and I'm sure that Rach appreciates this. In hindsight it would have been far better to tell the children that there were no definate plans for the kitten until they knew how the land lied, but its too late for that now. there's really no need to turn yet another post into a bitch fest, I'm sure there's plenty of those as it is. :bash:


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## *H* (Jun 17, 2007)

africa said:


> why go to the lengths of threatening legal action





Emmaj said:


> Great so that mean i *may* have 2 court battles on my hands over custody of animals


As far as I've read on this thread there has been NO threats of legal action from Rach! This is the only statement mentioning legal action and it's from Emma speculating. 

My opinion on the matter is that is never should have been bought to the forum.


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## mrsfluff (Jul 15, 2007)

I wonder if the thread should be closed whilst Emma and Rach try to sort this out? I really feel for them both and however it goes there's no happy ending for anyone really.

Jo


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## piglet79 (Jul 24, 2008)

feorag said:


> Well then it's obvious that you do not know the situation fully if you see it like that!
> 
> Rach's daughter didn't see Emma's son being given "a kitten" and stamped her feet saying she wanted it. There's a huge difference between a child stamping its feet saying they want something they see someone else get! The kitten belonged to Rach and her daughter had a particular affinity with that kitten, Rach could not have known that her daughter would be so upset that she would suffer such consequences.
> 
> ...


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## africa (Sep 12, 2008)

Everyone involved is sad and vulnerable in this but the fact remains that Rach made the decision to rehome the kitten to Emma. Like it or not that is a fact.


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## Jb1432 (Apr 19, 2008)

At the end of the day rach you gave away the animal for REHOME not foster, if you do take legal action it will just be another waste of money either you or the government has to pay for, plus its silly thats its got to this. Your going to have back down and realise that you gave the animal away, Emmaj is a very good person and will give that kitten a forever home. Unfortunately your daughter is also going to have to learn she cant always gets what she wants. Im not having a go at either person but you should accept that once you've gave away something you cant demand it back. I thought we'd all learnt this when we were kids:whistling2:


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## butterfingersbimbo (Jan 26, 2008)

*H* said:


> As far as I've read on this thread there has been NO threats of legal action from Rach! This is the only statement mentioning legal action and it's from Emma speculating.
> 
> My opinion on the matter is that is never should have been bought to the forum.




:notworthy:


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## Meko (Apr 29, 2007)

:whistling2:what happened to this?



butterfingersbimbo said:


> I am staying out of this, I hope that you both manage to come to an agreement, and manage to stay friends.


:Na_Na_Na_Na:




Personally i have a solution... 
Emma should rehome Rach's daughter as well.. that way both the kids are happy..

~breakdances out of the thread before somebody decides to think i was being too serious~​


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## MELINDAGIBSON (Sep 8, 2007)

*hi*

Emma and Rach are both very nice people and this is a horrible situation for both of them.
Emma only wanted advice as she obviously is very upset by the situation and at the end of the day there is going to be tears 
I hope it gets sorted out soon


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## MELINDAGIBSON (Sep 8, 2007)

*lol*

oh meko your so funny 
emma will need a mansion to live in soon 
i had to read it twice i thought you was on about rehoming rachs daughter lol but now i see you mean her to go live with emma crumbs its too early 









Personally i have a solution... 
Emma should rehome Rach's daughter as well.. that way both the kids are happy..


~breakdances out of the thread before somebody decides to think i was being too serious~​[/quote]


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## feorag (Jul 31, 2007)

*H* said:


> As far as I've read on this thread there has been NO threats of legal action from Rach! This is the only statement mentioning legal action and it's from Emma speculating.
> 
> My opinion on the matter is that is never should have been bought to the forum.


Absolutely agree with you "H" - some sense at last and I've been wondering since I joined this thread how did legal action come into it, because it certainly didn't come from Rach!!



piglet79 said:


> Firstly I didn't say it was anyones fault . As I see it Rach's daughter knew the kitten was going then when it had gone to it's new home settled in and a little boy had got attached to it - I don't mean it to come over like you have taken it I was merely trying to say that this fuss could have been avoided by telling the little girl the situation , I have an 8 yr old and a 6 yr old and they are both intelligent enough to understand that situation and would accept that the kitten had to go to another home - has anyone thought that this may not be the only thing that is upsetting the poor little thing
> 
> I really feel for Rach and what I have heard that she has been through but I don't see how getting the kitten off Emma to then rehome it not with them but with someone else is going to help
> 
> ...


Hang on a sec! I wasn't picking holes in your thread at all and I wasn't bitching at you! 

Correct me if I'm wrong but you did say _" To me it is a bit like me giving someone a christmas present one of my kids stamping there feet saying they want it and then me asking for it back_" didn't you? 

I was just pointing out that you could not compare the scenario you have quoted with the facts as they happened. 

A lot of people are badmouthing Rach on this thread - they do not know the whole story and Rach herself is moving house this weekend and has no computer access, so cannot come in a answer these questions or even stick up for herself, so those of us who have been involved in her problems are putting her point of view as fairly as we can, given the situation.


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## mask-of-sanity (Dec 27, 2006)

Emmaj said:


> seems like it will end that way being she told me i should seek professional help as she is gonna too
> 
> GAWD im so gonna stop doing anybody any favours that way i cant end up in thes darn situations :bash:


so why would emma be told to seek professional help by rach


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## Emmaj (Dec 3, 2007)

Right !!

1st off my intentions were never to make anyone look bad at all 

i wanted advice on how i should feel...............thats what the title says 

and *H* rach told me in pm i should seek professional help if that aint threatening with legal action then i dont know what is :bash:


I only wanted to find out other peoples responses to this as rach made a big deal about wanting find somewhere for RUBY to live and for her other cats to be fostered 

I had said from day one of her doing this i would take ruby on because my son lost his cat a while back an i thought i was time to get him a new companion...............rather than buy a kitten i thought great i can help one that NEEDS a home 

I went out of my way to accomdate some of raches other cats because i felt bad i was giving ruby a home and the others were left unknowing of their future 

My intentions were never to make any one look bad or like a cow or what ever just to find out where the hell i stood in this 

im having a serious think about what i should do and its a difficult one as you can imagine


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## *H* (Jun 17, 2007)

Emmaj said:


> and *H* rach told me in pm i should seek professional help if that aint threatening with legal action then i dont know what is :bash:


Oh My bad, I mistook the 'professional help' for something completely different....... 
Has Rach actually said to you she will be taking legal action or have you assumed that was what it meant? Untill Rach is back to give her side of the story that comment cannot be took as what you assume it means..... oh and please don't bash me I'm giving my opinion based on what I've read.



Emmaj said:


> I had said from day one of her doing this i would take ruby on because my son lost his cat a while back an i thought i was time to get him a new companion...............rather than buy a kitten i thought great i can help one that NEEDS a home
> 
> I went out of my way to accomdate some of raches other cats because i felt bad i was giving ruby a home and the others were left unknowing of their future


Again based just on what I've read on the forum, wasn't Ruby originaly going somewhere else? On one of her first threads you asked about Ruby (stating you want her) and she said she already had a home lined up and was going to a family member...... how did you end up with her? Just curious really.



Emmaj said:


> My intentions were never to make any one look bad or like a cow or what ever just to find out where the hell i stood in this
> 
> im having a serious think about what i should do and its a difficult one as you can imagine


I'm not disputing what you have done for Rach, and yeah I understand the situation you are in regarding the kitten, what my point was, going again by the posts on the forum the pair of you seemed to have a good friendship going on and I can't understand why you couldn't sort it out without bringing it here. Wether your intentions were to make her look bad or not (only you know that for sure) people will have their opinions and do generally take sides regarding issues like this and will judge Rach regardless.


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## Emmaj (Dec 3, 2007)

*H* said:


> Oh My bad, I mistook the 'professional help' for something completely different.......
> Has Rach actually said to you she will be taking legal action or have you assumed that was what it meant? Untill Rach is back to give her side of the story that comment cannot be took as what you assume it means..... oh and please don't bash me I'm giving my opinion based on what I've read.
> 
> rach told me in pm that i should seek professional help as she was going to do about getting ruby back so can only mean legal action as i dont need any other professional help (well i dont think haha others may think otherwise LOL)
> ...


But a friend tbh wouldnt give you something then want it back............thats the way i look at it anyways 

I know rach has been through alot but its not fair to go back on your word when you have stated it many times even on a public forum 

I dont want rach to look bad as i do like rach i just dont agree with what she is doing


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## butterfingersbimbo (Jan 26, 2008)

Meko said:


> :whistling2:what happened to this?
> 
> 
> 
> ...




I know, I did try to stay out of it, but to be honest there were so many replies where Rach was getting slagged off, and she is not even able to come on and defend herself, that I thought it was unfair on her. If it were my in the situation I would hope that someone else would stick up for me.....and you might notice that I haven't actually taken anyone's side as I feel for both of them! so :Na_Na_Na_Na: to you with knobs on :lol2:


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## Meko (Apr 29, 2007)

they're both in Yorkshire.. they could get a big zip wire from one chimney to the other and a cat carrier.. 


i know i know, i'm no help.


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## Emmaj (Dec 3, 2007)

butterfingersbimbo said:


> I know, I did try to stay out of it, but to be honest there were so many replies where Rach was getting slagged off, and she is not even able to come on and defend herself, that I thought it was unfair on her. If it were my in the situation I would hope that someone else would stick up for me.....and you might notice that I haven't actually taken anyone's side as I feel for both of them! so :Na_Na_Na_Na: to you with knobs on :lol2:


 
I aint done this to try get anyone slagged off 

i mean what rach has done is given me a gift..............now she wants to take it back..................

what would people say about me if i was to go collect all my gifts back that i gave people for xmas and say im sorry i want this back now as my son can make use of it 

its the same thing aint it 

difference is i would never take back a gift i have given no matter what


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## Shelley66 (Feb 19, 2007)

Just reading this makes me wonder one thing, does no one tell their kids no anymore? If I rehomed something and one of my girls had played up in any way shape or form I would have just told them it was tough, the animal now had a new home so they had to live with it! 

I used to breed chinchillas years ago, and there was a couple of times the girls became attached to one of the babies, they were told the babies would not be staying so there was no point in them making noises or telling me they wanted to keep them, because it wouldn't be happening. There were times when I really wanted to keep a baby as well, but if I had already told someone it was theirs then I stuck with what I said.


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## Evie (Jan 28, 2008)

It might be worth noting that if any legal action is pursued, the kitten will be changed beyond recognition by the time there is any outcome. I am fairly sure the little girl wouldn't even recognise it. 
It is a sad situation but I think Emma should keep the kitten - unsettling these animals again isn't in their best interests.


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## butterfingersbimbo (Jan 26, 2008)

*H* said:


> I'm not disputing what you have done for Rach, and yeah I understand the situation you are in regarding the kitten, what my point was, going again by the posts on the forum the pair of you seemed to have a good friendship going on and I can't understand why you couldn't sort it out without bringing it here. Wether your intentions were to make her look bad or not (only you know that for sure) people will have their opinions and do generally take sides regarding issues like this and will judge Rach regardless.



People have judged Rachel and I don't think it's fair! If I was in this situation and my friend offered me a pet and I accepted as a favour, then they changed their mind, on a whim or because they were simply being selfish, then yes I would be pissed off. But if it were because they were highly stressed out and going through a lot, and their child was extremely upset to the point of wetting the bed, then I would like to think that I would continue to be a good friend to them, and wouldn't dream of coming onto a public forum to ask people's opinions. I would sort it out with my friend in private. And chances are I would hand the kitten back, as it really wouldn't be the same after that to keep it, and I would have a talk with my own child about how life can be very difficult and we don't always get what we want.


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## Meko (Apr 29, 2007)

Shelley66 said:


> Just reading this makes me wonder one thing, does no one tell their kids no anymore? If I rehomed something and one of my girls had played up in any way shape or form I would have just told them it was tough, the animal now had a new home so they had to live with it!
> .


my mum did it to me years ago.. we went on holiday and she asked next door to look after the rabbit but she actually gave it to them without telling us.

to be fair, i forgot we had a rabbit when i was on holiday and it was only about 3 months later when i remembered and asked my mum where it was.


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## butterfingersbimbo (Jan 26, 2008)

Evie said:


> It might be worth noting that if any legal action is pursued, the kitten will be changed beyond recognition by the time there is any outcome. I am fairly sure the little girl wouldn't even recognise it.
> It is a sad situation but I think Emma should keep the kitten - unsettling these animals again isn't in their best interests.




omg I think the fact that Rach isn't going to be taking legal action has already been established :hmm: unless of course she comes on here and says that she IS taking legal action then its a moot point!!!!!


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## Emmaj (Dec 3, 2007)

butterfingersbimbo said:


> People have judged Rachel and I don't think it's fair! If I was in this situation and my friend offered me a pet and I accepted as a favour, then they changed their mind, on a whim or because they were simply being selfish, then yes I would be pissed off. But if it were because they were highly stressed out and going through a lot, and their child was extremely upset to the point of wetting the bed, then I would like to think that I would continue to be a good friend to them, and wouldn't dream of coming onto a public forum to ask people's opinions. I would sort it out with my friend in private. And chances are I would hand the kitten back, as it really wouldn't be the same after that to keep it, and I would have a talk with my own child about how life can be very difficult and we don't always get what we want.


 
But rachel is some i have become friends with because of offering to take on ruby an do the favour of fostering her other cats 

she is not someone i know in person i didnt start having proper converstations with her until i offered my hand of help to her 

yes her children are upset BUT what about my SON ???? i have a son here too or did you forget to read that bit?

Why shouldnt i post on a public forum everyone else seems to do and this after all is what this place is for asking opinions on something 

at the end of the day this isnt only effecting rach's kids its gonna effect my SON too now


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## butterfingersbimbo (Jan 26, 2008)

Meko said:


> they're both in Yorkshire.. they could get a big zip wire from one chimney to the other and a cat carrier..
> 
> 
> *i know i know, i'm no help.*




you help in your own freaky little way, Meko :Na_Na_Na_Na:


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## Emmaj (Dec 3, 2007)

butterfingersbimbo said:


> omg I think the fact that Rach isn't going to be taking legal action has already been established :hmm: unless of course she comes on here and says that she IS taking legal action then its a moot point!!!!!


 
So why is she asking me to seek professional help on one of the pms she sent me because that is what she would be doing ????


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## butterfingersbimbo (Jan 26, 2008)

Emmaj said:


> But rachel is some i have become friends with because of offering to take on ruby an do the favour of fostering her other cats
> 
> she is not someone i know in person i didnt start having proper converstations with her until i offered my hand of help to her
> 
> ...




I know its affecting your son too and if you read my replies properly then you will see that I had actually noted that fact! : victory:

I'm getting out of this thread now cos I've given my opinion, and I have to re-arrange my kitchen cupboards :lol2:


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## butterfingersbimbo (Jan 26, 2008)

Emmaj said:


> So why is she asking me to seek professional help on one of the pms she sent me because that is what she would be doing ????



maybe because she was upset and not really thinking straight? I'm really going now.......plates to sort etc........


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## Emmaj (Dec 3, 2007)

butterfingersbimbo said:


> I know its affecting your son too and if you read my replies properly then you will see that I had actually noted that fact! : victory:
> 
> I'm getting out of this thread now cos I've given my opinion, and I have to re-arrange my kitchen cupboards :lol2:


 
see saxon saw the look on my sons face and how excited he was when i told him ruby was his................who wants to come and look at the look on his face when i tell him that ruby aint his no more ?????

And that the person that gave him her wants him back 

yeah you see cos thats something i may have to do now 

lewis was the one that took the cats all upstairs and got them out and settled he has been treating lilly an saffy just like they are his but he knows they arnt and have to go back 

but he thinks ruby is his so now whats he left with a big fat nothing if i decide to be the nice person in this an let her take ruby back 

you know im gonna have to grow me some balls and start being a :censor: maybe i wont get fecked over by people all the time then 


i know rach aint done this on purpose but its things like this that really do knock your faith in people out of you


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## mrsfluff (Jul 15, 2007)

Is Rach able to have pets in her rented accommodation? If not where would the kitten be going? I don't think if Emma keeps the kitten she will look at it any differently, it's not the kittens fault this is happening.

To be honest I don't blame Rach for asking for it back, as a mother I know I would do the same. But I would have to accept there are 2 answers I could get and that 1 would be very disappointing.

I still think this should be closed until Rach is back on line so that she can reply again if she wishes.

Jo


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## Emmaj (Dec 3, 2007)

mrfluff said:


> Is Rach able to have pets in her rented accommodation? If not where would the kitten be going? I don't think if Emma keeps the kitten she will look at it any differently, it's not the kittens fault this is happening.
> 
> To be honest I don't blame Rach for asking for it back, as a mother I know I would do the same. But I would have to accept there are 2 answers I could get and that 1 would be very disappointing.
> 
> ...


 
as far as i know if they go back to rach they are gonna be outside in a pen or dished out amoungest her family


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## fenwoman (Apr 15, 2008)

Shelley66 said:


> Just reading this makes me wonder one thing, does no one tell their kids no anymore? If I rehomed something and one of my girls had played up in any way shape or form I would have just told them it was tough, the animal now had a new home so they had to live with it!
> 
> I used to breed chinchillas years ago, and there was a couple of times the girls became attached to one of the babies, they were told the babies would not be staying so there was no point in them making noises or telling me they wanted to keep them, because it wouldn't be happening. There were times when I really wanted to keep a baby as well, but if I had already told someone it was theirs then I stuck with what I said.


 Apparently children should never be denied anything or made to feel upset or disappointment in any way and if they cry, you should immediately do everything you can to make it stop crying.
Hmm perhaps that's why there are so many supernanny and nanny 911 oprogrammes on telly teaching parents how to control their vile, spoiled children who seem to think that they are in charge and the world owes them summat.
I have a firm belief that people can be mean, grumpy, sulky or anything they want to be. However, they should strive to behave in a fair manner. It isn't fair to ask for the kitten back once Emma and her son were told it belonged to them.
I can't personally see the problem really. If Rach still can't have pets in her new home, why would she want Ruby back? If the child misses the cat so badly, how will getting it back and palming it off to yet another home with a relative, make the child feel any better? Surely if she is allowed one cat, then one of the older cats which the child has grown up with,knows,and understands and is familiar with, would be the better option?
I have no axe to grind. I am not taking sides, merely posting a response based on what I see as being fair.The decision was made, the child was told about no pets, the deal was done and that should be it.Sometimes life is hard and children have to be disappointed. Perhaps if Rach explains that this is just the bad part of having to rent a house and not being in charge of your life by owning your home, or not being able to find a suitable nice home where pets would be allowed, her child will see why she can't have her pets back.
My poor son was brought up the same as your poor children were. Vile abusive mothers that were are. They knew that if I said not, it meant that whatever it was, would never happen no matter how much they danced about, cried, screamed etc. In fact the only thing such a performance achieved was that another priviledge was removed until a sincere apology was forthcoming. But there....everyone knows what a nasty mean old fenwoman I am.


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## fenwoman (Apr 15, 2008)

Emmaj said:


> So why is she asking me to seek professional help on one of the pms she sent me because that is what she would be doing ????


 I think you need professional help. You have an incontinent nose when you drink lager.You need to see a doctor. Perhaps that's what she meant?
(attempt at lighting the mood)


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## Emmaj (Dec 3, 2007)

fenwoman said:


> I think you need professional help. You have an incontinent nose when you drink lager.You need to see a doctor. Perhaps that's what she meant?
> (attempt at lighting the mood)


 
LOL i have been scouring ebay for some correct sized corks honest :whistling2::lol2:


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## mrsfluff (Jul 15, 2007)

Emmaj said:


> LOL i have been scouring ebay for some correct sized corks honest :whistling2::lol2:


No, you just need to drink more lager; practice makes perfect and all : victory:

Jo


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## Emmaj (Dec 3, 2007)

mrfluff said:


> No, you just need to drink more lager; practice makes perfect and all : victory:
> 
> Jo


 
LOL fennys bag wont agree on that or nerys floor for that matter :lol2::lol2::lol2:


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## Ragmoth (Oct 4, 2008)

I wonder if Rach's daughter only wants the kitten because it is a kitten. Would the situation be different if we were talking about an adult cat here?


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## feorag (Jul 31, 2007)

mrfluff said:


> To be honest I don't blame Rach for asking for it back, as a mother I know I would do the same. But I would have to accept there are 2 answers I could get and that 1 would be very disappointing.
> 
> I still think this should be closed until Rach is back on line so that she can reply again if she wishes.


I agree with you Jo and I said the same earlier in this thread. I do not blame Rach for asking Emma if she could have the kitten back as she could not anticipate how Felicia would react once the kitten had gone. It's easy to tell children what is going to happen, but you can't stop the child from having a pschological reaction to something that has gone wrong in their lives, so I don't think Rach was wrong to ask Emma if she could have the kitten back. It may have been that the kitten did not bond with Emma's son and therefore he would not have wanted to keep it.

However, because Lewis has formed a bond with the kitten and believes it to be his so Emma doesn't want to hand it back and upset her son, then I think that Emma is right to refuse, because she was given the kitten, not fostering it.

Whichever way you look at it though, someone's going to be a loser here and it's the losing child I feel sorry for!



Ragmoth said:


> I wonder if Rach's daughter only wants the kitten because it is a kitten. Would the situation be different if we were talking about an adult cat here?


I certainly don't think so, she is missing the kitten and one of the adult cats - has been having nightmares, being sick and wetting the bed every night since the cats left.


And yes, I agree that everyone is adding their two-pennorth and Rach isn't able to even read what is being said about her at the minute let alone defend herself, which seems rather unfair.


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## Emmaj (Dec 3, 2007)

I am going to request this thread be closed as i agree and think it is unfair that rachel cannot respond 

i would like to add again that my intentions were never to get at rach or be nasty or slag her off 

as she isnt a bad person really she is only doing whats best for her child 

but in my eyes whats best for a child insnt always best for the animal 


im going to have a long hard think about what im going to do about this situation but if i do come to the conclusion of handing ruby back then i do hope that rach will come and pick them up as soon as the decision is made as the longer she is here the harder its going to be (im sure people can understand me saying that too)


I just want whats best for the cats and them being argued over isnt whats best for them 

so im going request the thread be locked an should anyone wanna know anything on this matter then pm me privately : victory:

***scuttles off to have a long hard probs depressing think ***


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## feorag (Jul 31, 2007)

I'm so sorry Emma, I know you're in a terrible position and must feel that you can't do right for doing wrong!

I think it is better that this thread is closed and you and Rach sort out this between yourselves. You have everyone's opinion, which is that as Lewis is attached to the cat and has been told it's his, then you have every right to keep it - that was the arrangement agreed between you and Rach and which, hard as it may be, Rach has to honour.

And yes, I'm sorry for Rach, but I agree with you Emma, that if the kitten has settled in your house now, then it's going to be very confusing for the kitten to be moved again to another house, even if it is going back to the same family, the 'family dynamics' have changed somewhat since the kitten lived there! So it has to be what's right for the kitten too!

Hope you're OK!


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